Ah, fall. It’s a time for warm cider, cute scarves and boots — and carving up some of the most hilariously atrocious Jack-o’-lanterns the world has ever seen. Seriously, though, pumpkin carving is supposed to be fun, so how come it has the ability to frustrate even the most hardened of adults to the point of tears?
We should probably make it clear that we feel pumpkin carving is a time-honored Halloween tradition that should never be skipped. It’s just that when we try to get all fancy and ambitious, our pumpkin works of art tend to fall a little short. And every year, we always swear we’re going to keep things simple and follow a template to create a Jack-o’-lantern that looks like what we intended it to. But that’s never what happens.
Even though Halloween is supposed to be a time for frightening ourselves (and others), the only scary thing about these pumpkins is that their short lives were utterly wasted.
Originally posted September 2016. Updated October 2017.