This week, both Something Navy blogger Arielle Charnas and Vanderpump Rules’ Scheana Shay revealed they recently suffered pregnancy loss — but they’re so, so far from alone here. Because despite what boho-filtered motherhood on Instagram would have you believe, pregnancy can be…pretty awful. And it doesn’t always end the way you want it to. Plenty of us struggle to conceive in the first place, and when we do, there are the anxieties and stressors and (often severe) morning sickness and terrifying genetic testing. Plus, the truth is that pregnancy can and does often end in miscarriage — far more often than many of us realize. In fact, between 10-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Period. We’re talking about devastating losses that can have a lasting physical and emotional impact on the expectant parents — and the mourning and recovery processes look different for everyone involved. So why aren’t more people talking about this?
Miscarriages happen during the first 20 weeks of pregnancy, and more than 80% occur before 12 weeks, according to Tommy’s. This number may be higher, as some people miscarry without knowing they’re pregnant, the Mayo Clinic notes.
While miscarriages affect thousands of pregnant people every year, we don’t always talk about the difficult experiences. However, many celebrities, including Beyoncé, Gabrielle Union, and Demi Moore, are hoping to de-stigmatize miscarriage and spark a conversation about its aftermath by sharing their stories.
Ahead, we’ve gathered some of their insights.
A version of this article was originally published in August 2016.