When your uterus aches at the mere sight of a pregnant woman, an ultrasound photo on Facebook brings you to tears, and you can’t bear to attend another baby shower, you’ve got baby envy. The first step to coping is acknowledging it.
If you have been trying to conceive your first, second or even third child and it’s not happening, the months can seem like decades and every baby-related thing can have you on edge and in tears at the drop of a hat. It’s a grueling process and can take its toll month after month seeing negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test. Don’t push your feelings aside; it’s OK to acknowledge the green-eyed monster every now and again.
These simple tactics will help you keep your emotions in check and embrace your envious feelings:
Find a cycle buddy
Having a friend who is also longing for a baby and has been trying to conceive will not only provide you with the support you need, but allow you to do the same for her. She’ll be there to help you realize you are not alone in this journey and you’ll do the same for her. You can commiserate with one another the next time each of you has to pretend to be happy when a colleague announces her pregnancy. Beware that your cycle buddy may end up pregnant before you do, but at least she’ll understand your disappointment a lot better than others.
Consider unfriending or blocking unwanted posts from Facebook
Facebook is a wonderful way to keep in touch with family and friends across the country and should be used as a form of entertainment. As soon as you begin dreading what pops up (ultrasound photos, maternity shots and baby announcements) in your Facebook timeline, it’s time to take control and use the blocking feature until you are feeling stronger.
Get your baby fix
If you have a friend that has just had a baby and it’s making you jealous, instead of giving in to that emotion and being bitter, why not spend a little time with them and get your baby fix? There is no time like the present to practice being a parent and, let’s face it, nothing feels quite like holding a newborn baby. The new mother is sure to welcome the break too!
Focus on the positive
Turn your negative thoughts and energy to things that make you smile — a great workout, cuddling up with your Kindle and the latest bestseller, or since you are still kidless, why not plan a romantic getaway? If you already have children, devote more one-on-one time with them because as soon as you have more than one (or two), that kind of time isn’t going to be easy to come by.
Don’t beat yourself up
Trying to conceive might take longer than you expected and make you do and think crazy things. Hopefully one day you’ll be on the other side of the baby-making spectrum, and because of what you’re going through, you’ll be sympathetic to those who may be trying to conceive.