How to break up with a mom friend
It’s just not working out with that friend in your life, so how do you move on? Check out these tips on how to get rid of toxic friendships and start over with healthier pals.
Tips on moving on from a friendship gone awry
It's just not working out with that friend in your life, so how do you move on? Check out these tips on how to get rid of toxic friendships and start over with healthier pals.
In my experience there's something uniquely awful about having to separate yourself from a mom friend in your life. There is no chance that after this "break up" you'll still be friends because, well, that's the point. You can't be friends any longer. If this is a mom friend there's also the high chance that her kids are friends with your kids. Oh dear. So what can you do to make getting rid of these toxic relationships a bit easier?
Write a letter
Sometimes (for me, always) we are better in writing than in person. Go ahead and write out a letter or email describing all the reasons why you have to part ways. Try to keep it to what you think and not just all about how you're being "made to feel" (i.e., you make me feel like stabbing myself in the eye). Be sure to follow up with a phone call or in person meeting. (I know. Cringe!)
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Grace, grace and more grace.
If this is a real break up, there's no reason to have to find vindication or stick it to her. She doesn't need to know every little detail of why you're rejecting her, because she likely won't understand anyway, right? Give grace by offering simple reasons why it's not working out, and leave it at that. You can also call this the "do not give any more ammo" advice.
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In lieu of actual conversations, letters or anything else, you can simply, little by little, stop calling or writing. This may seem like a jerk way of handling things, but it is my personal favorite for certain situations. It prevents the huge stress of a confrontation, it gives the impression we just grew apart (and therefore allows the former friend to save face) and gets me out of the epic awkwardness. Some may see this as being cowardly, and if by "cowardly" they mean "smart," then I agree wholeheartedly.
Help them meet someone new.
Chances are, you really don't want to spread your toxic friend's cooties to anyone you know, but maybe there is a new group of people you can introduce her to, just so she's got new fresh meat to sink her teeth into. This idea not only gives her some new friends, but moves you from awkward to relieved with minimal guilt.
Good luck with your break up! Stick to your decision and make sure you have lots of chocolate to get you through.