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Your marriage after kids: Keep the fire going

When you’re newlyweds, you and your husband could jet off together at a moment’s notice. Enjoy a last minute romantic dinner at your favorite cozy restaurant. Head to a late night movie. Stay in bed all day together on Sunday watching TV (and doing other things). But when you commit to parenthood, things change rapidly.


The freedom you once had together as a couple can become nonexistent. And once the baby is born, your husband may feel neglected with a lack of attention that often comes with it.

Having a baby, especially the first one, can be a big adjustment for a couple. Late nights, early mornings, diapers and tears — a couple can lose sight of each other in the midst of having a newborn. Frequently, the husband can feel like he is left out. If you decide to have more children, those moments alone as a couple become even harder to come by. When there is a lack of physical and emotional contact between a couple other problems can arise, including a breakdown in communication. We have all heard the cliche: “Happy wife, happy life.” But the husband counts too. Below are six ideas to help a loving couple spend some quality time alone together and keep the fire burning.

Hit the town

Go out on a date at least once a month. Have a nanny or family member watch the baby so you two can go out on the town. Of course, you should leave your cell phone on in case of an emergency back home, but really give your husband close personal attention. This will make the evening special. Also, go to a restaurant you used to enjoy eating at before the baby arrived. This way things don’t feel like they have changed much even though your family is growing.


Make all the right moves

DancingA great way for the both of you to get exercise as well as get close to each other is taking a dance class together. If you’re looking to take off some baby weight, a salsa class can certainly get things moving very quickly as well as get you both closer to each other.

Show that he’s your bud-dy

RoseFlowers don’t always have to be given to just women. Let your husband know that he is special by surprising him with some of nature’s finest gifts. When your husband comes home from work and walks into the house, approach him holding a red rose. This isn’t expensive, but shows that there is a lot of thought behind it.

Write little notes

A great way to keep the love and fun alive is to write him notes. Put them on Post-it’s and leave around the house — in his shaving kit, car, desk, sock drawer, etc.

This is a really fun way to let him know you’re thinking of him. Again, this doesn’t cost anything and can have a lot of meaning to your spouse.


Keep up the contact

Sex is important in any relationship, but if you’re not able to have it right away after delivering your baby, you should still offer some physical contact.

A massage, kiss and cuddle will make your husband feel desired and that you still love him.

Bask in bubbles


Fill up the tub with warm water, add some bubble bath and light a few candles. Then invite your husband into the bathroom for an impromptu soak. Wash each other down and enjoy being alone. There is nothing like being with the one you love and soaking the evening away together.

Learn about the nanny to the stars

Marva Soogrim, world-renowned nanny to the stars, has more than two decades of experience with her unique whole family approach to caring for newborns and integrating this new experience into the family.

Born in Trinidad, Marva came to the U.S. at the age of 21. As a mother of four, she has continued to work hard to offer the best for her children as well as her clients. With medical assistant training and impeccable references, Marva began her calling as a baby nurse/nanny to some of New York’s most prestigious families.

News of her novel and calm approach to caring for babies spread and she quickly became the nanny of choice for celebrity A-listers including Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts, Courtney Cox, Sheryl Crow and Chris O’Donnell to name a few.

She is currently at work on her first book, Marvalous Babies. You can follow Marva on Twitter.

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