Talk it through with your partner before deciding on another baby. Expanding your family is a major decision that the two of you need to feel comfortable with as a couple.
Your little bundle of joy has brought so much happiness to your family, so it’s only natural that you might start thinking about having a second child. It’s easy to get caught up in “baby love” and forget about the responsibilities and challenges that come with enlarging your family. Talk it over with your partner and have some patience– don’t go ahead with another pregnancy until both of you are ready!
Do you have what it takes to handle another pregnancy as a couple? If your first child is finally sleeping through the night, are you ready to face the broken nights and endless feedings and the lack of privacy all over again? An infant to care for means sacrificing a good portion of your social life, and your partner may be reluctant to give up the recently improved schedule – more sleep, more sex, and more time for meaningful conversation and activities together.
Don’t panic if your partner isn’t enthusiastic about having another child right now. It’s a common reaction that happens soon after the first baby. As your child grows, attitudes may change. It becomes easier to understand that normal life isn’t over when children come along! You’ll both get into a routine and manage the care of your baby more easily, feel more rested, and as time passes your partner is likely to agree that adding to your family is a good idea. It’s natural to waver between wanting another baby and wondering how you’ll cope physically, emotionally and financially. If one of you is unsure, wait.
Never make the mistake of thinking that another child will improve your relationship. The strain of caring for a newborn is a recipe for disaster if you both aren’t fully invested in the process.
Make a commitment
Before you decide to have another child, make a commitment to your relationship. With each new baby there will be increasing demands on your time and energy, so you must carve out time for each other. You need regular alone-time with your partner, so agree to use babysitters, friends and family members to watch the kids – even for short periods of time. Getting out together, even just once a month for drinks or dinner, a leisurely walk or an evening with friends is vital to your relationship. It’s easy to get wrapped up in caring for a new baby and neglect your partner’s need for a slice of your time, too, Make that relationship an equal priority.
Make a deal
You won’t really know how your partner feels until you talk about it! On issues from who takes the night feeds to the financial burden another child might represent, you both need to feel comfortable and confident that you can handle another child as a couple. Often people assume that they know what their partner is concerned about without ever having an honest discussion. If one of you is worried about adding another baby to the family – for any reason – you have to talk about it.