You would think that being an adult and a parent would preclude you from silly high school social games and issues, but many mothers worry if they are cool enough. Today’s cool mom isn’t the permissive one who acts like a teen. Instead, she’s the strong, well-rounded woman who shows up, shows interest and has a life.
Be there or be square
Being cool these days is about more than just being fashionable or in the know. “The cool mom is the one who actively participates in things with her children,” says Claire Haas, mother of two and vice president of education for Kiddie Academy, an education-focused childcare provider. “Drive carpool to practice, or volunteer to help in the classroom. Make it a priority to be present.”
Get a life
Don’t make your children your life, suggests Dr. Ramani. “Many moms in our culture give it up for their kids and make the kids their raison d’être, which can, in some cases, make the kids resent their moms for not having her own gig.” To avoid this, Ramani suggests pursuing interests that excite you, independent of your kids.
Be strong but receptive
Zora L. Kolkey, a marriage and family therapist in San Francisco, says, “Being a cool mom means being a mom, setting limits, and listening to what kids are saying — and remembering that, as a mom, you are not their friend.” Kolkey knows: In addition to being a family therapist for 20 years, she is also a mother of four grown children.