Mom bloggers behaving badly: Cyber bullying on blogs
Mom bloggers are taking over the world. Okay, maybe they're not quite that big, but mom bloggers have influence in many areas. Brands seek out mom bloggers to promote their products, other parents look to mom bloggers for advice and mom bloggers provide great day-to-day reads for other moms. But sprinkled in with all of the wonderful and supportive mom bloggers are some troublemakers. Mom cyber bullies. Women who hurt other women with words and actions from behind the "safety" of their computer screens. Learn more about the ugly side of mom blogging and what one mom is doing to put an end to moms behaving badly.
"I was so disheartened by it. For a long time I figured there was nothing I could do. I'm just one person," says Ross. "But then I realized the same Internet that gave these women the power to bully also gave me the power to stand up and speak out.
I knew I was not alone in my feelings. I decided I would use cyberspace to spread a positive message in many of the same ways it is used to spread hate. I believed it would resonate with other women, and I was right."
The Mom Pledge
In an effort to make a difference, Ross started The Mom Pledge, an online community of mom bloggers who were also committed to kindness online. She sums it up perfectly: "The Mom Pledge is about women standing up, speaking out, and coming together to eradicate online bullying among moms. The time has come for us to take the power back and own this issue."
As it turns out, a lot of moms feel strongly about online integrity. Women rallied around Ross' cause, taking The Mom Pledge themselves and proudly displaying their commitment on their own blogs. Ross regularly hears from moms who want to say thank you or share their personal stories. "They touch me. I feel an incredible positive energy building, and I love it!" she says.
Getting ugly on the laptop
So just how mean can moms get? "I think what most people have probably seen at some point is the hateful, nasty anonymous comment on a blog post, message board, news article, etc.," says Ross. "Often that comment section descends rapidly into a virtual catfight."
Sometimes, an "Internet bully" will target someone specific and take it further. "They may attack that person by writing about her on their own blog. Or making statements about her on social media sites," explains Ross.
That sounds bad, but it can actually get worse. "In extreme cases, which I have seen and are sadly not uncommon, a woman or group of women will harass a victim relentlessly," Ross explains. "They will come at her with attacks again and again."
Internet bullies will even go so far as to hack another mom's blog or other online accounts. Ross says that they'll take to social media, using Facebook and Twitter to libel the victim. Some will even contact the woman's family members, boss, co-workers and friends. "They will do everything in their power to make her life miserable," concludes Ross. "It can be very traumatic for the victim."
The veil of the computer screen
It's pretty safe to say that most moms wouldn't scream obscenities, extremely insulting names and other awful and hurtful things at another mom during school drop-off. So why do some women feel safe doing it from behind their computer screen?
"Something about being behind a computer causes people to lose a 'filter' they may be more aware of in real life," theorizes Ross. "They become detached. Particularly if they have the opportunity to be anonymous."
We need to remember that words can hurt someone just as badly when typed on a laptop as they would hurled at a PTA meeting.