How to find time for romance with a new baby

Jun 13, 2011 at 10:47 a.m. ET

When you have a new baby, finding time for romance often falls to the wayside. Keeping your relationship strong is an important part of your family life, but finding time to squeeze in some alone time can be hard to do. Read on to find out how you can reconnect with your partner while parenting a new baby!


In the days and weeks after your baby's birth, dad can be feeling a bit left out and to be honest, it can be difficult for you to focus on anything besides your baby. Keeping your relationship a top priority is important, though. Happily, it can be easy to maintain by keeping a little romance in your lives, even in those foggy early days. Check out our tips for keeping the coals burning!

1Keep yourself a priority

Make sure to take care of yourself first. It can be hard to romance your partner if you are sleep-deprived and unshowered. Take advantage of his offer to help watch the baby while you do a bit of pampering for yourself. Sleep when your baby sleeps (it sounds trite but is so true) and eat a full, balanced diet.

2Keep it simple

Romance can be found in the smallest places. A smile, brief eye contact and a whisper during a diaper change can be just enough to keep you connected. If you are too exhausted to do any physical romancing, have him join you for a nap on the weekend or a swing on the porch. Give (and accept!) backrubs and hold hands as you take a walk with your baby in a sling or in a stroller.

3Steal those moments

You may be ready for sex, but your baby may have other ideas. Learn how to work around your baby's schedule and take advantage of naps. Who says sex has to take place at night? A 10 a.m. booty call may be just what your relationship needs, or a quickie when he comes home for lunch.

4Create a baby-free love nest

When your baby is napping or down for the night, it's prime time for a little lovin'. What do you do if, by chance, your baby is sleeping in or right next to your bed? You might not be keen to disturb him, so make sure you have an alternate location ready. The futon, the living room floor or even the baby's nursery that he's never actually slept in are great spots.

5Get out (or in) when you can

If you have the opportunity for a date night, by all means take advantage of it. If Grandma offers to watch your little one while you retire to your room and watch a flick, go for it. Focusing on one another, even if your baby is just in the next room, can do wonders for your relationship. You won't be sorry!

More on keeping your relationship strong

Your kids and your marriage: Both are important
Love your kids? Love your husband!
Keeping your marriage emotionally hot