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Baby name fights: How to compromise

If you and your spouse or significant other are fighting over a baby name for your baby girl or baby boy, find out how to compromise, narrow down your choices and pick a name that you both will love.

Pregnant women arguing with spouse

He loves Grace — and you love Harper. He thinks Aidan is perfect for your baby boy, but you want something more unique. How can you compromise to find a baby name you both love? Read on to find out how to put those baby name fights to rest.

Find a theme you both agree on

If he loves unique names and you love popular names (or vice versa), one way to find a meeting point with baby names is to start by agreeing on a baby name theme.

Some common baby name themes include traditional baby names, exotic baby names, short baby names, spiritual baby names or modern baby names.

Once you have agreed on a theme, you can then start narrowing down your baby name choices.

>> Get baby name examples with themes here

Write it down

You and your spouse write down separately a list of around 20-50 baby names you love. Compare your lists to see if they (hopefully!) have any in common. If they do, make a list of these names and go from there.

If you don’t have any names in common, perhaps you can pick out a theme you both have. For instance, Irish names or short names. The key is to find a common ground you can move forward on.

Use the middle name as leverage

If the sticking point is a family name that one spouse wants to pass down, consider using this name as a middle name. If you husband wants to pass on his name, but you shudder at the thought of your son being called “Junior,” why not suggest his name be used as the middle name?

On the flip side, if you would like you name incorporated into your child’s name, consider using your maiden name, first or middle name as your child’s name.

Use caution when including others

Think twice before dragging friends and family into your baby name fight. If you or your husband has a change of heart on a baby name, a friend or family member might feel awkward if they talked down about that particular name. Plus, the more opinions you have on a baby name the harder it can be to make a decision.


You may have heard some couples say, “He just looked like a (insert name here).” If you are stuck on a handful of names, consider waiting until you see your child and hold him or her in your arms. This may be the push you need to decide on a name.

More baby name ideas:

Search all baby names on SheKnows >>

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