How do I balance work, my kids, my family and all of my responsibilities?
In this installment of Tough Love, Anissa Mayhew from Aiming Low offers her advice on how to balance work, kids and all of your other responsibilities.
Tough Love with Anissa Mayhew
I'm trying to balance my life -- work, my kids, my family and all of my responsibilities. And I feel like I'm failing miserably. In fact, I've felt like this for five years -- that's how many years I've been a mom. Is this just a feeling or am I really failing? And what can I do?
What matters most?
As the editor of a site named Aiming Low, I'm tempted to tell you to just grab a cocktail and relax. In all honesty, we've all felt that way one time or another about one thing or another. What you have to remember is that there are things that MATTER and things that matter to those that have enough time to get all judge-y. There are only so many hours in the day and if you get to spend some of those hours with your family and kids you've done what's important. Everything else that can be bought, replaced or dipped in chocolate can wait...some wait a little easier than others.
People before things
There are few things in life that are irreplaceable. I've been in the situation where I had the vital things spotlit. When you're lucky to be alive, you find that your definition of "failing" changes. Your expectations of what you SHOULD be doing needs to be replaced with what you CAN do. Your expectations should never put "things" in front of "people". EVER.
We can be told that not having a spotless house, spotless children and spotless record happy marriage is a sure sign of failure. Did we mention the job you're keeping too? When you hear the voice that tells you that you should be doing more, doing BETTER, kindly tell that voice to SHUT UP.
If you were really a failure as a person, you would fail to care.
You have obligations that matter beyond any other. They can't be done by anyone else but you. Go for walks when there are dirty dishes. Clothes will wait to be folded until you have played hopscotch. You can ignore dust long enough for that cuddle with your honey.
I hope you will learn to stop being so hard on yourself. If not, make giving yourself a break one of the responsibilities you have to yet do.
You'll get my point one way or the other.