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The diet police are everywhere

I saw it on a candy bar wrapper the other day. “This product is not meant to be a substantial part of your diet. Please consume in moderation.”

Well, there you have it. Candy wrapped in guilt. Do they really expect that to deter people from eating candy? I felt so guilty I ate two candy bars.

Then I went out to lunch. A salad cost $4.00 but a double cheeseburger is only $1.00. Why would I want to pay $4.00 for a few greens when I can buy a head of lettuce for less than a dollar and I’m standing in an enclosed area saturated with the tantalizing aroma of grilled patties topped with ooey-gooey cheese, pickles, ketchup and mustard? You already know that I bought that double cheeseburger.

It seems to me that if the Diet Police really wanted people to eat healthier, they’d find a way to lower the cost of healthy foods and raise the cost of junk food.

Why does a gallon of milk cost over $4.00 but a 2-liter bottle of soda only cost $.99? Why does a salad cost $4.00 and a double cheeseburger only cost $1.00? Why do boneless, skinless chicken breasts cost twice as much as deep-fried chicken nuggets?

I know there is probably an excellent economic reason for that, and I should remember what that is, but my brain is easily wooed by the smell of deep fried dinners.

Just like my kids are wooed by the smell of chocolate chip cookies. When they walk in the door after school and smell chocolate chip cookies, I know those chores are going to be done and I can even slip a few more chores on their list and those will get done, too. The kids want the cookies so bad that they’re willing to pay more in chores for them.

But, if they come home and all I have ready is a plate of veggies and some dip, those chores are never going to get done.

And what are grandmothers supposed to do? Call out “Who wants carrot sticks?” or “Who wants brownies?”

Oh, sure you can drop toothbrushes and pennies in their Halloween bags, but don’t be surprised when your house gets trimmed with toilet paper.

It’s not that people are lazy. It isn’t just the fact that fat and sugar are filling and usually indicative of a tasty treat. It’s all about comfort and familiarity. Perhaps if we put our babies to bed with carrots, we’d have better control over their gastro-future.

For now, we’ll just have to settle for a king-sized, super-sized helping of comfort.

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