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Christina Aguilera Shares How She ‘Empowers’ Her Daughter to Ask Questions About This Hard-to-Discuss Topic

Navigating difficult conversations with your kids is one of the hardest parts of parenting. But not answering — and leaving them to try to figure things out on their own — is even worse. Christina Aguilera has one tip for dealing with a hard-to-discuss topic with her 8-year-old daughter Summer Rain, who she shares with fiancé Matthew Rutler, and we are definitely taking notes.

“At this point in my life also as a mother, it’s really important for me that I open up this conversation to my daughter and make sure that she feels empowered early on in her life to feel good about asking me any questions,” the “Fighter” singer told PEOPLE on March 31 about sexual health. “Simplifying the information and just making it very matter of fact. This is not something that we should be scared or ashamed of.”

Aguilera is the co-founder and chief brand advisor of the sexual wellness brand Playground, and she knows how important (and how difficult!) having these conversations with your kids can be. Aguilera, who is also mom to son Max, 15, with ex-husband Matthew Rutler, adds that you shouldn’t “overwhelm developing brains” with too much information. She went on, “It’s very important that I’m honest with my kids, but I simplify it in a way that they’ll be able to understand and digest. I never want to impose things to be so scary that it’s going to impose anxiety or fear, even scary topics.”

“I really try to make sure it’s done very matter-of-factly and to always know that their body is their playground,” the Grammy winner added. “That is for them to decide how it should be used, how it should be treated, how it should be respected ultimately.”

This seems like great advice! It lines up with what licensed marriage and family therapist Jill Whitney told SheKnows in Feb. 2019, which is that the “sex talk” should actually be “a series of conversations, which ideally happen more or less naturally.” “So when kids are toddlers, teach them correct names for body parts,” Whitney said. “When sex comes up in a movie or TV show, look for an opportunity to explain or clarify. Use real-life examples to talk about healthy and unhealthy relationships.”

There are also questions about the female body that Aguilera is taking the time to answer now. “There’s questions that arise between, ‘Mommy, what’s a tampon?’ and getting your period. Our vaginas go through the gamut in our lifetimes with so many different things,” Aguilera told PEOPLE. “The more we understand them, the more we feel comfortable and safe talking about them and take the stigmas or other people’s outside ideals out — or the fact that they’re just uncomfortable with themselves to talk about something so natural. Taking any shame out of that is so important to me.” Yes! We love that.

Aguilera also teaches her kids (and her daughter in particular) about self-confidence. In an interview with Health in May 2021, she said, “I am really careful if my daughter is there when I am doing photo shoots. I want to make sure that when she sees Mommy in hair and makeup that she realizes that’s not what’s important. If she needs my attention, I stop everything and look into her eyes and listen to her. I want to make sure she understands that this is part of Mommy’s work but that it’s what I create that matters more.”

“There’s no right or wrong way when it comes to my kids. I just really try to encourage them to be their own selves,” she added. We can definitely get behind that advice!

These celebrity parents are raising strong, resilient daughters.

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