Marijuana is a pretty contentious subject to begin with, but this Reddit user’s brazen admission to smoking next to a pregnant woman with no regard for her health or consent set off a fiery debate on the platform’s “Am I The A—hole” subreddit.
The Redditor explained that they recently attended a concert that had “a very heavy drug scene associated with it.” They added that they were in an assigned seat section next to a couple, and “about 10 minutes into the first set I light up a joint, and about 5 minutes after the husband complains to me about his wife being pregnant.”
“I told them both it’s a show,” the user continued. “You came here, you can choose to leave. He tried to cause a scene but nothing happened since I just ignored them both and danced.” They added that they told their roommates what happened and they called OP an a—hole for smoking next to a pregnant person. Because of this, OP wanted Reddit to weigh in on the matter — and the result was a heated debate.
For some, OP was undoubtedly the jerk in the situation. One user wrote, “YES YTA. You shouldn’t be smoking in your seat like that. … Double YTA for doing it next to a pregnant woman.” They added a bit of criticism toward the pregnant individual, writing, “However, if I were her, I would have left or called security to move you. Her and her baby’s health is more important than the concert.”
Other Redditors pointed out the plethora of alternative options, with one person commenting, “Take an edible, smoke before you come in, bring a vape and hit it outside if you must. So many options these days besides forcing someone else and their unborn fetus to inhale it too.” Another echoed the sentiment, writing, “I never understood smoking indoors at a concert… is disgusting for the people next to you and overall just an egotistical choice. Take edibles or bring a pen if u wanna be high that badly.”
Speaking of ego, additional users emphasized how self-centered OP’s point of view is. “I don’t care what kind of scene a band has, take it outside and be respectful of the people around you,” one person wrote. “Why should someone else leave because of something you are doing? She has just as much right to be there as you do.”
Others debated the nuances of the situation. “Honestly if it was a Phish show or like Afroman or something I would say NTA. It really depends on the show,” a Redditor commented. They continued, “People [are] all on their high horses about secondhand smoke, but with some concerts you just have to be realistic. If 90% percent of the crowd is lighting up, then the pregnant lady had to know what she was getting into.”
In response, another user replied, “Yeah, it’s hard to say without knowing what else was going on. If multiple people were smoking, then singling out OP was probably a bit ridiculous, not to mention futile. Even if all those smokers were technically doing something wrong, you can’t realistically police an entire venue, and if she was that worried about a contact high, she probably should have bowed out. (And I say this as a parent. Having to make sacrifices as a parent sucks sometimes but it is what it is.)”
They added, “If OP was the only person smoking in the vicinity, then yes, he was TA. Because he was solely responsible for ruining her night.”
Another user joined the conversation, replying, “See I disagree. If the venue is smoke-free, it’s smoke-free. I’m a cig smoker and understand at pretty much any venue, I need to go outside, which I am totally fine with.” They continued, “Even as a smoker I don’t want to attend a smoke fest, be it weed or cigs. People want to enjoy shows that also have to maintain a security clearance, or are pregnant, or can’t stand the smell. It shouldn’t matter the artist.”
One user pointed out that although there may be smoking rules at certain venues, many times those rules won’t be enforced “when the artist is heavily associated with the drug scene.” They added, “The sole act of smoking a joint at a concert is not what makes OP an a—hole like so many of these comments are suggesting. What DOES make OP the a—hole is how they showed no compassion for the pregnant woman next to them. They should have just walked to a separate section to smoke and then return to their seats.”
Another person hinged their assessment on whether or not there was an explicit no-smoking rule. They wrote, “NTA if smoking was permitted where you were. They chose to attend a concert where there was a high probability, given the nature of the artist and the fans, that people would be smoking around them. YTA if smoking was not permitted where you were. They chose to attend a concert and watch from an area where smoking was not permitted. They had a reasonable expectation that the no-smoking policy would be honored. YTA for violating that policy and not moving to an area where smoking was permitted.”
It seems like a no-brainer to us that if OP wanted to smoke, they could have gone to a designated smoking area or the venue’s parking lot to light up. Or, as many fellow Redditors pointed out, they could have used edibles to avoid the smoke and odor altogether. It was definitely an a—hole move to completely disregard the health and well-being of the pregnant woman and her child, despite all other factors.
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