Pregnancy is the best of times, and it’s the worst of times (IYKYK). But if you have help, it can make all the difference! Most supportive partners don’t mind making food runs or providing extra foot massages for a mom-to-be, but one dad is fed up with his pregnant wife’s demands — and Reddit fully supports him.
A 36-year-old man asked Reddit if he was the a—hole for “telling my wife that pregnancy isn’t an excuse?” At first glance, the question definitely raises some eyebrows. But then he explains the situation. After “trying hard for a baby,” him and his wife finally got pregnant. She is enjoying the pregnancy, but her husband feels like she’s “using it to her advantage.”
Then he gave some examples that seem more than a little manipulative on her part. “She recently adopted a cat (which I’m allergic too) and said ‘think of the baby’ or ‘the baby needs a buddy,’” he wrote. “I gave in but kept my distance around the cat. Whenever I ask her to help with some chores around the house she always said she can’t because of the baby.”
Wait, what? I mean, I kind of get trying to get out of chores while pregnant (we’ve all done it!), but why would you insist on buying a cat knowing that your hubby is allergic? That’s so strange.
“I tried communicating to her that I don’t want the baby to be an excuse for everything, she began to yell at me screaming saying I have no idea what it’s like to be pregnant and to get over it,” he continued. Although her extreme reaction “hurt” him, he decided to keep the peace and just do what she wanted. And what she wanted was cleaning the house, taking care of the cat, and going to work because she “quit her job and stayed home doing nothing but watching tv and ate.”
But even regular household maintenance and working wasn’t enough. This woman also demanded over-the-top pampered from her poor husband. “I did her makeup for her like she asked, rubbed her feet, massaged her but it never seemed to be enough.”
Girl, you can’t even do your own makeup? I wouldn’t even want my husband to do mine. This is just so ridiculous. I’m all for taking it easy during pregnancy, but this is just too far.
After all that, the husband tried to go hang out with his friends, but his wife “started screaming at me saying that she needed me here.” He added, “I was so tired and fed up that I told her to stop using her pregnancy as an excuse to get away with things. I cared about the baby, but I will not stand for this.”
Redditors didn’t stand for it either. Many commented on the cat situation, especially considering a pregnant woman’s risk of toxoplasmosis. “It’s an odd choice to adopt a cat during pregnancy. Toxoplasmosis, which lives in cat poop, is pretty much only a risk for healthy people if it is contracted while a woman is pregnant,” one person wrote. “(Not usually a problem if it is contracted prior to pregnancy or after.) That is why pregnant women are advised to not scoop litterboxes for the duration of their pregnancies. NTA, her choices don’t make sense.”
The dad responded, “Thanks for informing me of this! Definitely going to get rid of the cat though.”
Others couldn’t believe this woman’s level of willful incompetence. “I’m pregnant. I just did my makeup this morning. Are her damn hands broken?” one person wrote.
“NTA. If she is healthy and not high-risk, there’s not much she really can’t do. She is using this as a manipulation tactic,” another said. The dad responded, “Luckily, she is not high risk. I don’t know what I would do if she was.”
Another comment said, “This is total manipulation on her part.” The dad wrote back, “I always brushed it off pregnancy hormones but now they’re starting to affect my mental well-being.”
Pregnancy can be a difficult time for everyone, but if your partner’s actions are negatively affecting your mental well-being like this dad, it may be time to reach out for help to a therapist. It should be a challenge you face together — not one where you do everything because your pregnant partner refuses to get off the couch.
Before you go, check out some of Reddit’s wildest baby name dilemmas.
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