All the drama that goes into planning a wedding tends to show people’s true colors. As in, the colors that represent what they think about guest lists and ceremony choices and cake flavors. But one couple is taking that a step further by planning a wedding that would show of the color of their guests’ — ahem — carpets and (perhaps matching) drapes.
One parent joined the AITA subreddit to say they had offered to pay for their daughter’s wedding, no strings attached.
“Now here’s the issue at hand,” they wrote in their original post. “My daughter and her fiance have a few friends you might call hippy-ish.”
Some of these “hippy-ish” friends are apparently into naturism and nudism, and the OP’s daughter and soon-to-be son-in-law have started to partake too. One of their friends had a “full on nudist no clothes allowed wedding” that they supposedly enjoyed.
“They were talking to me about the planning, and they said they wanted it to be clothing optional. As in, you can wear whatever you want, or nothing at all. I guess a few of their friends probably would be naked. Moreover, they themselves want to be naked for the actual ceremony, why exactly I still don’t understand.”
Do your thing, but no one wants to see you publicly mix pubes and prenups. And what will the photos look like? What’s on their registry?
As you might imagine, this parent was not into the idea and wrote that “the whole thing seemed weird.” The couple said the wedding would be 18+ (“In fairness, if they’re going clothing optional, excluding children from the ceremony sounds like the only responsible decision they’re making,” said one comment.), but the OP was still not having it. They told them if this is the route they are taking, they won’t help pay for the wedding.
“I also said that I probably wouldn’t come, since no offense I don’t want to see either of them naked. My daughter said fine, they’d save up and cover it, but I’m not invited whenever they have the money.”
So, are they the a-hole for rescinding their offer to pay, now that they know it would be a wedding potentially involving actual a-holes?
First of all, commenters can’t believe the couple thinks “no strings attached” still applies if there will be no g-strings attached.
“When OP said no strings, I’m pretty sure they were thinking the bride wants to wear combat boots or the menu is going to be vegan and gluten free, not ‘I’m going to watch my adult child, her partner and sundry strangers be naked for a shared family event.'”
Commenters were understandably concerned about the logistics of a bare bride.
“So do you drive there with clothes on, and then take them off when you arrive?” mused one commenter. “I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to drive naked? My state laws don’t even allow you to drive without shoes, which seems dumb enough.”
And if you can’t drive without clothes on, should you really sign a legally binding contract stark naked?
And what about cocktail hour: “How many of us will eat food that was touched by hands that just scratched something?”
You might think uninviting the parent is a little harsh, but it sounds like they don’t want to be surrounded by nudity and see their daughter’s “hoohaa” (as one commenter called it) anyway. And just as the plan makes this parent uncomfortable, the couple may feel uncomfortable having a parent who opposes this plan there.
Sure, the parent might have been OK with their child’s nudity at one point, but it’s understandable if they would rather their daughter walk down the aisle in a dress rather than in her birthday suit.
“My two-year-old son likes to make a fast break when bath time is over and run around the house naked for a few minutes,” one commenter said. “It’s cute even if his grandparents or other relatives are visiting. If he still wants to do that at 27 at his wedding it won’t be cute anymore.”
If this parent wants to stop the vows-and-vulva plan, one user said all they need is to make “a phone call or two.”
“Grandma and Grandpa are so excited about your plans for the wedding!” they could tell their daughter. “They said they’ll be there without bells on!”
If this really is what the couple wants to do, that’s great, commenters said. But it should be on their own dime, and there should preferably be a way for loved ones who aren’t comfortable with a birthday suit wedding to still celebrate the newlyweds. Whether that be one naked wedding and a fully-clothed one, or a naked ceremony and clothed reception, they can find a way to circumvent an issue that could showcase some circumcisions.
Even Redditors who are fully comfortable with nudity took issue with the couple’s plan.
“I’m a nudist. I even have a membership card (go ahead, make a joke about pockets). The place I go to has weddings and other events, but only in the actual nudist camp. You can’t just take off your clothes at a wedding. A key part of naturalism is consent — everyone around you must consent to being around nude people.”
“Nudism isn’t something you can spring on the everyday man,” said another commenter. “Especially for one day. It takes practice being able to control yourself. And a wedding with alcohol and dancing (presumably) is not a great place to start with newbies.”
Whether the OP stands firm on their decision to withhold financial support for the wedding or not, here’s the naked truth: not everyone is going to be on board with nudist nuptials — no ifs, ands, or “butts” about it.
“Before you go, check out some of Reddit’s most ridiculous grown children.“
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