We may have just entered 2023, but plenty of people are still holding onto sexist gender ideals that have been around since — oh, I don’t know —the beginning of time. In a Reddit post on the “Am I the A-Hole” thread, one son explains that his sister was a “total tomboy” growing up, much to the chagrin of their parents. His dad supposedly always wanted a “girly girl,” and she was “like a boy in every way except biologically.”
Uhhh, it sounds like OP may have absorbed some of his parents’ stereotypical views. We have to imagine he has very narrow views of what makes a girl “girly” and what does it mean to be “a boy in every way,” but we digress.
“Our dad would make remarks about her not taking care of her appearance and running around all day and tanning dark in the process,” the OP said. “My room was directly next to the living room and I would listen to my parents complaining to each other about my sister’s future and how no one would want to marry her because she’s nothing like a girl.”
So now being tan is a problem too? That certainly makes it sound like Dad is sexist and racist.
Then comes the time for the daughter to head off to college. She planned on studying geology since she supposedly wanted to be a geologist like her father. “She always loved rocks and collected rocks growing up,” OP wrote.
“Our dad told her geologists got laid off all the time and the pay sucked to try to get her to choose something else. She was convinced to do teaching probably because it was a female profession but after first year she dropped out because she HATED it.”
Are you kidding me? What year is this that women can’t go into STEM (“My, my, how terribly unseemly!”) and should only go into a nurturing profession like teaching, despite where their true interests lie. What next? Should she become a 1950s housewife? Oh wait. Dad said she’ll never be a wife because she is “nothing like a girl.”
OP said his sister then took a year off and got involved with a tech startup. She loved the experience and decided to pursue a degree in computer science. Her parents, who had paid for her year in the education program, refused to pay for the computer science degree because “they had some financial problems.”
Fast forward a few months, and now it’s time for their darling son to start college where he wanted to major in *drum roll please* geology. I guess the industry suddenly instated pay raises. Mom and Dad agreed to pay for the entire thing. What an unbelievable (well, somewhat believable actually, given their track record) double standard.
“I knew it was probably because they didn’t like her profession but didn’t say anything until she asked. She did, probably because she [had] the same suspicions as me. Our parents always said we were guaranteed our undergrad paid for and as soon as she did a computer science degree they go back on their word?”
This was followed by “lots of stuff happening,” but “long story short,” the daughter decided to cut her parents out of her life. Now the parents are mad at their son for telling his sister their parents were paying for his college and “intentionally ruining their relationship.”
“They never took her threat [of cutting them out of her life] seriously until she got engaged, and I got an invite to my sister’s wedding and they didn’t. AITA for telling my sister I am getting college paid for and she isn’t probably because she’s doing a degree they didn’t want her to?”
Not. In. The. Slightest.
Also, take that, Dad! Marriage doesn’t define anyone’s personhood or gender, but your daughter is getting married. Think of all the nights you wasted thinking she wouldn’t.
As you can imagine, commenters had a field day with this one. Speaking of field day: Do we think the daughter was allowed to play tug-of-war? Probably not. God forbid she develop callouses. Or even worse, spectators get a glimpse of her bloomers underneath her dress! *Gasp!*
Commenters called “dear old Dad” a “garden variety misogynist” and are simply stunned that he is so mad and sexist that he would refuse to pay for a degree in a field his daughter loves.
“They’re worried she’ll never get married, but won’t support her in getting a highly employable degree so she can support herself?” one commenter asked, pointing out the clear stupidity.
“They can’t have their daughter running around collecting rocks,” one commenter said sarcastically.
Though Reddit unanimously agreed that the parents were the a-holes, some comments were just as problematic and cringey:
“Jewelry has gems. Gems are rocks. Just saying …”
So now we’re playing the “diamonds are a girls best friend” game?
Even if you can somehow put the gender norm BS aside, commenters say the son is still NTA for telling his sister their parents were paying for his degree. After all, it is no child’s job to keep their parents’ secrets.
If you still can’t wrap your head around why these parents had such a problem with their daughter’s degree choices, one commenter broke it down perfectly:
A penis is what happened.
Because his sister can’t afford to get laid off because she’s not girly enough to find a man to support her when she’s unemployed. But OP will be able to find himself a sugar mama to mooch from if he gets laid off, I’m sure.”
Before you go, check out these unbelievable stories about Reddit’s worst dads.
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