The moms of Reddit are on one today, and rightfully so. On the platform’s “Mommit” forum, one mother explained that, while she’s on leave from work to recover from having a watermelon-sized human exit her body — super casual, no big deal at all — some absolute snot rocket had the audacity to ask what she’s doing with all her “free time” during maternity leave. She encapsulated her entire mood about the idiotic question in four words: “That is all. Goodbye.”
Fellow moms had a heyday in the comments, with one writing a gloriously accurate rant that begins, “SAHM = your new 24/7 unpaid job where you have to work during sleep deprivation, care for the new baby and your toddler, while sick, bleeding, in pain, gentle parent one while trying to get the tongue tied baby to eat.”
On a roll, she continued, “Plan all check ups, calendars, maintain friendships, remember all the birthdays, purchase all the gifts for all occasions, schedule any childcare needs for ‘date nights.’ Be a chef, creating endless meals that may or may not be consumed while trying to get enough calories into yourself to keep new baby fed, the baby that doesn’t latch. Hourly alarms for tongue exercises through the night to make sure the surgery to fix latching issues keep the tissue separated while your partner and toddler snooze. Grocery shopping is now your ‘me’ time, don’t forget the toilet paper, milk, beer.”
“Did you eat today?” she asks. “Snack bar in your purse because you are always hungry, especially while nursing. When is the last time you enjoyed a hot meal without interruption? Did you remember to pump? Are the parts clean? When did you last get to shower?” We feel so seen. So heard.
Another mom recalled, “What I remember about my maternity leave is sometime in week 2 getting through a cycle of wake up to baby crying/change diaper/breastfeed/put baby to sleep/pump/clean pumping parts/finally eat/wash dishes/fall asleep/wake up to baby crying … and I just started crying too because I realized I was going to do that loop all day and night, and then again the next day, and the day after that … for what felt like infinity. Also mix in some heavy bleeding, stinging urination, chapped nipples, leaky boobs and scrubbing yellow baby crap out of onesies. Fun. So fun.”
Other moms hilariously expressed their struggle, with one user commenting, “My day just slides away! I have so many goals every day. Meanwhile it takes me 3 business days to fold 1 load of laundry 🤦🏼♀️,” and another responding, “Omg three business days…. 🤣🤣🤣 we must work in the same field.”
“I was going to sort out so much stuff around the house, take up some new hobbies, have dinner ready when my husband came home,” one mom wrote of her maternity leave expectations. “Reality is I can’t put baby down without crying, so I am having a wildly successful day if I have eaten both breakfast and lunch and found time to brush my teeth by the time my husband comes home from work.”
The sarcastic moms entered the chat, with one hysterically suggesting, “Next time this happens, say you’re drinking mimosas and getting foot rubs from the ghost of the last person who asked you that.” Our favorite, most accurate comment of the entire thread, though, goes to user turtledove93: “I’m breastfeeding while taking a sh*t Karen, thanks for asking.”
Thank so much, indeed, for another day of being wildly under-recognized and under-appreciated as around-the-clock, 24/7 mothers — especially new mothers who are dealing with the realities of parenting a newborn and juggling postpartum hormones and physical recovery to boot. At least we have the Reddit moms in our puke-stained, booger-crusted, poop-smelling corner. It’s the little things in life.
Before you go, check out these unbelievable stories about Reddit’s worst dads.