There’s no shame in asking for help; in fact, it’s a good thing! Raising kids takes a village, which is why arranging carpool schedules for school pickup and drop-off with other busy parents can be such a beautiful thing. We’re all driving to school every day anyway; might as well make things more efficient for everyone and give ourselves a little break, too. Unfortunately, one mom on Reddit had an absolutely ridiculous demand for the carpool parent — and it’s the perfect example of how not to treat others.
In the “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit, a parent detailed how they got the kid kicked out of the carpool lane, and the story is wild.
“Two of my kids (14 & 16) are in high school this year; because we’re not far enough away for the bus to take them (less than 1.5 miles) I drive them or they ride their bikes,” the parent wrote. “Before the semester started I was asked by another parent in the area if I would join a small carpool, my two kids, a set of twins in the same grade as my older, and one kiddo in the grade between my kids.”
Sounds reasonable right? They worked out a schedule of drop-off and pickup, and this parent’s turn started on Tuesday. “The kids were outside their homes waiting when I pulled up both days,” they wrote. So far so good. But the next time it was this parent’s turn to pick up, it didn’t go as smoothly.
“This morning I asked my 16y/o to text the carpool kids and remind them what time I would get there,” they wrote. “She did and showed me the positive responses from the twins, the 3rd kid didn’t respond.”
The parent proceeded with the pickup and found the twins waiting outside their home. But on the way to the last kid’s house, he wasn’t waiting outside.
“So I sent my older to knock on the door,” the parent continued. “She knocked twice and no answer, so I just took the other kids to school.”
I mean, that sounds totally reasonable. Honestly, sending a text first, then getting out of the car and knocking on the door — that’s above and beyond. What’s she supposed to do, barge in? Throw rocks at the window? Wait forever and make the other kids late? Sorry, but no. She did her job, and its not her fault that kid didn’t make it to school.
The kid’s mom, though, did not agree.
“When I got to work at 8:15 I had 3 missed calls and a couple angry voicemails from the kid’s mom calling me an AH for not picking up her kid,” they wrote, adding that they called the mom back immediately and explained everything that happened, including the fact that no one answered the door when they knocked.
“The mom said I should have called her kid to ‘wake him up’ before I left my house, and that I should have ‘waited until he was ready,’” they added. Can you believe that? She’s demanding this parent give her son a wake-up call and wait for him to be ready?! There are so many questions. Like — how long is the entire carload of people supposed to wait for your kid? Why can’t you give your own kid a wake-up call? Why are you blaming this other parent when your kid is the one who wouldn’t even wake up?
The OP had the best reaction. “I told her that waking her kid up is not my responsibility, and that I can’t wait around more than 5-10 minutes in the morning, since I don’t want the other kids to be late to school. She called me a b*tch and hung up on me.”
Then, they talked to the other carpool mom, telling her she wanted to drop out. “The other mom told me that no, she’d had trouble with this other kid and his mom too, and if I was willing to still drive her kids she was still willing to drive mine,” they continued. “Essentially getting this kid & his mom kicked out of carpool.”
Reddit is completely backing this parent up. One person wrote, “NTA She’s nuts. It’s insane to expect anyone else to be responsible for you getting your kid up and ready for school. I wouldn’t even feel badly about it. That level of entitlement is astonishing.”
“Should OP have also gone into their house and cook[ed] him breakfast?” someone else cheekily asked. “Maybe get some cleaning done and some laundry going? I’m gonna qualify this as not OP’s responsibility and agree on the entitlement.” Exactly how far are you wanting this carpool parent to go in getting your child ready for school? It’s more than a little mind-boggling!
Another added that the kid should be apologizing for his behavior. “NTA. Most parents would have had their kid call or text to apologize for making you wait,” commented another.
“NTA. The kid knew you’d be picking him up,” someone else said. “He and his Mom were lucky that you texted and knocked before leaving. Getting to kids to school on time is tough for anyone, ya’ll don’t need this mother & son duo making it worse.” So true!
It’s not another parent’s fault that you can’t get your own kid to wake up to get him to school on time. Mornings are hard for everyone, so can we please show a little grace — especially to another busy parent who is doing us a favor? It’s literally the least you can do.
Even when you’re famous, Mom Guilt is a thing, as these celebrity moms show.