A mom-to-be has decided to use her brother-in-law’s baby name choice and it’s a heartbreakingly unkind decision. She took to Reddit to break down the situation, explaining that her brother-in-law and his wife were expecting a baby three years ago and picked out a name from the wife’s favorite ballet. Very sadly, their child died.
Now, this Reddit user and her husband want to use that name for their first born. “We were at a family event over the weekend and I mentioned that we had that name in mind,” she wrote. “BIL looked kind of surprised and said that was the name they’d picked for their daughter. My husband said that we know but we just thought it was a really nice name.”
Her BIL asked if they would reconsider using the name because it has a special meaning to him and his wife. They refused. “I said that we decided on the name, and he actually didn’t even know if his baby was going to be a girl or a boy,” the user recounted. “He was upset and kept saying that we should reconsider, I got a little mad and told him that he doesn’t own the name, and they should be hoping for a healthy baby rather than worry about names.”
Reddit collectively gathered together to let this mom-to-be know that she is completely in the wrong here. Ordinarily, calling dibs on names can be nebulous — but in this case, taking her BIL’s baby name is just hurtful.
“YTA. No, they don’t own the name. That doesn’t mean they’re wrong that you should reconsider when you’ve clearly known for years that it’s special to them,” one person wrote. “Especially when the mere fact you’re having this argument shoots a gaping hole in your “pretty unique” reason for picking it, and you don’t seem to have anything especially meaningful to counter that with.”
Many reinforced just how much pain she could be causing her BIL by choosing this name. “What you’re doing is making sure BIL will never again be able to look at the two of you or his niece without thinking of his own dead child,” someone else noted. “There are thousands of names out there, you can find another that fits. You ‘can’ legally do this obviously, but just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”
Another Reddit user suggested that this mom-to-be was being “intentionally cruel,” adding that she “really twisted the knife [by making] a tasteless comment about how he should just be hoping for a healthy baby.”
And one user summed it all up perfectly: “YTA. Congrats. You’ve found the one exception to the ‘you don’t own a name’ rule and you’ve broken it.”
There’s no question here — this Reddit user and her husband are putting their desires over a family member’s well-being. Hopefully, they read these comments and reconsider.
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