A Reddit user doesn’t want to hang out with his brother for family get togethers anymore — and the whole “AITA” community completely gets it. He took to the forum to explain that his brother Kevin has 9-year-old twins, Joey and Chris. He has a two-year-old daughter himself, and the whole group used to hang out on a regular basis.
The awkward problem? Joey and Chris are so poorly behaved in public. “It’s embarrassing and stressful. [Their parents] do nothing to correct the behaviour, they’re usually stuck to their phones instead,” he explained. “Not only is it embarrassing, but my wife and I didn’t want our daughter to copy the behavior or think that it’s an okay way to act.”
Three weeks ago, the whole family went out to dinner together. The twins were up to their usual antics. “They wouldn’t stay in their seats and kept running around, throwing trash on other customers’ tables and just getting under people’s feet. Chris threw a tantrum because [his mom] didn’t let him drink Pepsi and he flopped around the floor screaming.” Eventually, they were asked to leave. His brother went on a rant saying that it was the restaurant’s fault because there should have been more activities to keep the kids occupied.
After that, the Reddit user and his wife decided they were no longer going on outings with the family. When his brother reached out for another meet up, the user tried to explain politely that after what happened at the restaurant they wanted to put a pause on get togethers.
“Kevin didn’t take this well, and said we are ‘parent shaming.’ He said that we are being self-centered and not thinking of how difficult it must be for him and Rachel. He said I’m being a bad brother and that I should be ashamed.”
Now, the Reddit user is wondering if he’s TA here — and the definitive answer was absolutely not. People felt he handled it in the best possible way.
“Your brother and his wife aren’t parenting their kids at all, and then are blaming their kids’ bad behavior on others. You are right to keep your distance. NTA,” one commenter noted. Many, many people felt that these parents really needed to re-think their approach to raising children.
“Your brother and SIL are TA for not parenting their kids,” one person explained. “They’re not doing them any favors letting them act that way. They’re actually setting them up for failure because as they get older other people will start avoiding them also.”
Others offered advice for next steps in this uncomfortable situation. “Give it some time and if you feel like you have to see them, make it an activity that is appropriate for kids to run around and be loud and also provides you an easy out if things get out of control,” someone suggested. “Restaurants should be completely off limits!”
This is a tricky scenario and it doesn’t sound like the brother is willing to budge — or admit that he needs to take responsibility for his kids! What do you think this Reddit user should do?
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