A mom snapped back at her in-laws for pressuring her to have more kids and Reddit is rallying around in support. She took to “AITA” forum to share her situation and started off by explaining that she had a very difficult time with her first baby.
“She was diagnosed as being a high needs baby and that is underplaying it,” the mom wrote. “She never stopped crying and there was no clear cause. We were in an out of the ER and pedi with her, we never got a break because nobody could stand to babysit her for us with the crying.” The first 18 months were incredibly tricky and exhausting, as the couple had to spend a good deal of money trying to get her help and her husband lost his job because he was so exhausted.
During this time, she explained, her in-laws were not helpful. “They would leave because it bothered them so much to hear her like that. A few times they would tell me to stress less,” she recounted.
The mom decided to get sterilized. She couldn’t imagine having a baby again. Her husband’s parents have not taken kindly to the idea of not having any more grandchildren. “They have said I was too rash in making the decision because I’m young (30) and that I should think about my daughter and them and how a bigger family is always better when you have the choice,” she explained. “They told me it was unfair. That I was wrong. They deserve more grandkids.”
The duo is only directing their annoyance at their daughter-in-law, and not their son. So, after some badgering, she snapped at them.
“I told my ILs if they had wanted more grandkids they should have been more supportive when I had my first,” she said. “Normally I would never say anything like that because I don’t believe people owe you when you have kids exactly. So I can’t shake the feeling I did say the wrong thing and came across as entitled.”
Now, they’re mad at her. Her husband is on her side but she’s concerned that she’s TA for reacting that way. Reddit reassured her that her reaction was absolutely justified and her in-laws are in the wrong here. “It truly grinds my gears that people think that they are entitled to someone else’s uterus because they want grandkids,” one person wrote. “…They need to stay in their lane, your reproductive choices are none of their business.”
People reinforced how frustrated they, themselves, are with being told to have more kids. “I have three kids but there’s still people going on and on about how I should have number 4. Sure, are you going to be here for the night feedings and the blowout diapers? No? Then go away,” a Reddit user recounted. “People were asking me during all three pregnancies when, not if, I was planning on having the next one. Could I at least get a chance to finish making this one before moving on to the next? Both my partner and I have said numerous times that we don’t want more kids, but people keep asking like bored children on a road trip asking ‘are we there yet?’ Just ugh.”
And then there was this incisive comment: “Your body and your choice. You are not an incubator for your in-laws. If they want more kids around, they are welcome to adopt. NTA.”
What do you think about this situation? Have you ever been pressured to have more kids by in-laws?
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