Having a baby isn’t always convenient — or pretty. Especially when it’s your first and especially when you opt for an epidural-free delivery. One mom on Reddit was trying to just breathe on hour 26 of labor, when she decided to kick her husband out of the delivery room. It may sound harsh, but we totally support her reasoning!
In the “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit, this mom explained that she was in “a lot of pain” after laboring for 26 hours with no epidural. And what was her husband doing at this time, you ask? He was on his phone — complaining!
“My husband was constantly on the phone ether playing games or talking with with his ‘bros’ being really loud,” the mom explains. She would ask him to hang up (because who wants to hear bro talk while in labor?), and he would call them back 10 minutes later.
“He really wanted to talk to them because his friends went on a boys trip without him because I asked to stay back so he could be here when I went into labor, they were calling to tell him about how their trip was going,” she continues. “He apologized to them blaming it on me being a nag. I was really annoyed and told him if he wanted to talk to his friend he could do that elsewhere so I can be in pain in peace.”
Excuse me, sir? Who cares about a freaking boys trip when your wife is in labor?! Talk about not being ready to be a father if you can’t even handle step one: welcoming your new baby to the world. I’m so sure you thought your wife would be OK with you going away with your friends while she is in the hospital delivering your child. Then on top of that — as if it could get any worse — you have the audacity to complain about your wife right in front of her? How immature, selfish, and downright rude can you get?
Well, the husband must have had one brain cell that still worked, because he finally got off the phone with his friends. But not 20 minutes later, this man-baby decides to FaceTime his mom (again, while his wife is still in labor), and put the camera in his wife’s face. My eyes are rolling so far back in my head right now.
It’s immediately clear where her husband learned his ridiculous, insensitive behavior.
“His mom makes a comment about how she remembers when she was in labor with him and that she still did herself up, she even claimed she looked so good the doctor even was flirting with her,” the mom explains. What? So first, she is harassed for the little thing of wanting her husband at the birth of his baby. Then she is criticized for not looking good enough while in labor? Who can blame her for what she did next?!
“I was holding back everything inside me to not say something as I didn’t want to disrespect my mother in law but at the same time she sometimes just makes the stupidest comments at the worst times and at this moment I could not stand talking to her,” she said, adding, “A nurse ends up coming in and could tell I was upset and asks me if everything was alright and I tell her I just really want to be alone.”
This leads to the nurse kicking out the husband. “He ends up missing the birth of our first born daughter because he left the hospital because he was pissed off that I got the nurse to kick him out the room,” she continued.
Because this childish husband is petty and upset, he decides to take it out on his wife by refusing to meet his daughter. Yes, seriously.
“He refused to come see his daughter afterwards because he was angry at me for kicking him out, my mother in law who did visit me in the hospital wouldn’t stop taking about how I’m such a bad wife for removing my husband from the room,” she continued. Honestly, it’s a shock she allowed her MIL to come for the way she was acting, too.
“When I got home he kept on bringing up how I ruined a moment of bonding with his daughter and how he could never forgive me for that,” the mom continued.
Luckily, Reddit was on her side, and commenters helped her break down all the ways her husband was the a—hole.
“NTA That’s a whole lot of red flags from your husband,” one person said, before listing them out. “1. had to be told not to leave on a boys holiday when his wife would likely be giving birth to his child, 2. ignored his labouring wife to chat with his friends on said trip, 3. called them back after being told to hang up, 4. answered a video chat from someone you didn’t want in the room, 5. allowed that person to be disrespectful towards you, 6. went off in a sulk instead of visiting you and his child as soon as he was allowed back in.”
They added, “If he has a problem with the situation you could ask him what he was feeling the last time he had a new person escaping from his vagina so you can compare notes and come up with a compromise.”
So true! One person commented, “100% all of this! The deflection makes me angry for her! She needed her husband and he acted like a child. Child birth is nothing to joke about! Women die in child birth and it’s painful. Definitely NTA, but having to tell a grown man how to act isn’t something you want to be doing while in labor!”
Another recommended counseling, and if that doesn’t work, a divorce. “I would say we need to go to counseling because he is so out of touch and not empathetic,” they wrote. “I would definitely be on the verge of divorce based on his behavior. Such a disrespectful, self-centered asshole! He CHOSE not to be in the room by his behavior and he CHOSE to leave the hospital and not return. That’s all on him. After thinking about it, I’d leave and not return for the foreseeable future unless there was a huge change for him. However, I don’t believe this is a man who can or be willing to change.”
Someone else commented on the complete irony of the whole situation. “He’s pissed he missed the birth of his daughter, but also pissed he couldn’t go on a guys trip and miss the birth of his daughter,” they wrote. “He sucks. Divorce his ass.”
We couldn’t agree more. This person summed it up: “Yep, send him back to mommy, he’s not fully grown.” Act like a baby, get treated like a baby, OK?
Childbirth is nothing like in the movies, as these beautiful photos show.