Reddit is rallying around a user who took to the “AITA” forum to share that she confronted her brother and sister-in-law over their choice of a pregnancy announcement. The user explained that her sister Dana had a miscarriage less than a week ago. The whole family got together for dinner and were comforting Dana about her loss. Then, her brother Kevin and his wife Nina decided that it would be a great time to share some news.
“They basically said that they were expecting their first baby and Dana immediately started crying,” she wrote. “Once her husband calmed her down…I told them they were very inconsiderate to announce that especially considering this event was about Dana not them.” The Reddit user explained in her post that not only was it inappropriate timing, Nina is six weeks pregnant so she could have waited a little longer until they made the announcement to the family.
“Nina and Kevin told me that the world didn’t revolve around Dana and that they had every right in the world to announce the pregnancy,” she continued. “I told them that yeah the world didn’t revolve around Dana, but that doesn’t change the fact they were still very inconsiderate to announce a pregnancy when we were legit comforting someone who just recently had a miscarriage.”
Now, Nina and Kevin are upset. They feel like they did nothing wrong. The Reddit user is reconsidering her reaction and wonders if perhaps she shouldn’t have said what she said. “The pregnancy means a lot to them,” she explained. She posed the question to the forum — is she TA?
Not by a long shot. “NTA, the whole entire ordeal was organized to comfort Dana for her miscarriage not for your brother & his wife to announce their pregnancy,” one user wrote. “Highly insensitive on their behalf & sure the world doesn’t revolve around Dana; but at that time it did.” Another added: “Who announces at a family dinner meant to comfort a relative who recently had a miscarriage? People determined to make it about them yet can’t understand why the spotlight is not on them in a ‘happy’ way.. yeah no. Not the time, not the place!”
One person noted that, perhaps, Kevin and Nina thought they were somehow sharing news that would make people feel good — but it was incredibly misguided in this case. “I’ve noticed some people seem to think that baby news makes people happy, so they think if people are sad then announcing a pregnancy (or showing newborn pics, etc) would cheer everyone up,” the user wrote. “But when people are sad because they just lost their own baby, that doesn’t do anything except reinforce their loss. Nina and Kevin had every right to hold their own family dinner to announce their pregnancy instead of hijacking the one arranged to support Dana.”
The consensus was that Nina and Kevin should have waited an appropriate amount of time before telling the family. And, because Dana is still grieving, they could choose to do it in a very tactful way, by sharing the news to individual family members and not in a group setting with Dana there.
What do you think about how Nina and Kevin handled this situation?