What are your children really thinking? Little Samuel De Guzman gives us a first hand account of his big day with mommy. See if you can relate.
What a day!
Boy, what a day we had today Mommy, wasn’t it wonderful! Wasn’t it responsible of me to knock down that glass shelf with all the shampoo on it at the hairdressers to show them how dangerous it might be for other children to have it where they can reach it! I could tell you were proud, I have never seen an expression quite like that on your face before. Did you run out of money?
I did think it was a little odd for you to get only half of your hair cut, did you run out of money? It looks good. I like it longer on one side than the other. Didn’t those silver things that the hairdresser was attacking you with look dangerous? I tried to grab them off her but she wouldn’t let me get them. I was very good to protect you like that wasn’t I, Mommy?
Guess what I learned today Mommy? I learned that you can’t bang out the kinks in a shopping cart with your head! Isn’t that interesting? I tried my hardest, but it really did start to hurt some so I was glad when you picked me up and carried me for 45 minutes while you finished the shopping. It was very kind of you Mommy to be so caring.
Why didn’t you clap for me?
I am a little disappointed Mommy that you didn’t show a great deal of enthusiasm when I finally learned how to get out of my car seat. It’s been 16 long months of trying Mommy, and I thought you could have been a little more excited about it, it’s not an easy thing to do you know! You usually clap and cheer at my accomplishments, so perhaps you can consider that next time I do it and give me a little round of applause.
I think our Christmas tree looks wonderful sideways on the floor with the decorations spread all around like that, don’t you? It was not the effect that I was trying to achieve, but I am quite happy with the results none the less. Perhaps we could have a new family tradition and put our Christmas tree like that every year. It would certainly set us apart from the neighbors!
The carpet must not be stain resistant
must say I am sorry for pouring all the dirt out of your favorite potted plant onto the floor. I was checking it for snails, how was I to know they didn’t burrow? I’m just a kid, I can’t know everything!
Oh, I forgot to tell you, I ran some tests on the carpet while you were in the shower. I wanted to see whether it was stain resistant so I rubbed some of that dirt left over from the potted plant into it. I should tell you the test results were not good Mommy. I think you should have it checked. Perhaps you could get it scotch guarded, and I will run further testing next week and let you know how it goes.
I am sorry that I spit chocolate milk in your face Mommy. I know how you love to drink a glass of chocolate milk with me, but I was very full from all that dirt I ate earlier. I didn’t want to disappoint you, but when I got the milk in my mouth I realized that I simply had no room for it. Sorry, perhaps you should be more careful that I don’t eat before our milk time in the future.
A bath? It’s too early for that
It is very early for a bath Mommy. Do you need to go to bed early tonight? I am not quite sure this will work out Mommy, I don’t feel at all tired just yet.
I am sorry for pouring the water from my boat on you Mommy. I was aiming for the toilet, but you sort of got in the way. Perhaps you should change your clothes?
Take care of yourself Mommy
Mommy, you are looking very tired, you should take care of yourself. After all–you do have me to look after and we can’t have you getting sick. I am very cute when I sleep you know, perhaps after I am dressed I can fall asleep in your arms, and you can look at me and think about how cute I am. That should make you feel better.
Here, let me lick your face and call it a kiss–there, now I bet you feel a whole lot better!
Oh what a day Mommy, wasn’t that fun! What will we be doing tomorrow? I might consider sleeping past 5 am for you in the morning Mommy, you look like you need some rest. How would 5:30 be?