A husband and wife are in an argument over a baby name — and Reddit has officially laid down the verdict. The wife took to Am I The A**hole forum to share her side of the story and explained why she feels she’s in the right.
“I (30f) and my husband (37m) are expecting our first child,” the Reddit user wrote. “We’ve just found out that it’s going to be a girl and so we’ve started discussing potential names. My husband and I are from different countries with different languages. We both speak each other’s languages and we live in my husband’s country.”
After finding out that they were expecting a girl, the husband said he’d like to name their baby Fanny, after his late grandmother who he was very close to. “I think this is very, very sweet idea, and I would have no problem with it were it not for the fact that, to put it bluntly, her name in my language means female genitalia,” the user explained.
The husband argued that, because they live in his country, it shouldn’t be a problem. The wife countered: “It’ll be embarrassing for her to introduce herself with that name when we visit, and if we ever moved back (we’re not planning to, but you never know) and she had to attend school there, she’d definitely be bullied for it.”
The Reddit user tried to suggest that they use Fanny as their child’s middle name but her husband shut that idea down. Then, she suggested that they change the name slightly and he also wasn’t having it. “Eventually, my husband accused me of being embarrassed by his culture, which isn’t true, I’m in love with his culture and I think the name is very pretty, it’s just that I know our daughter will visit my country too and she’ll have such a hard time there with that name.”
So, the Reddit user wondered, AITA? The consensus was a hard no.
“It’s great he was close to his grandma, but why does his wife [lose] naming rights just because he was?” a user wrote. “Naming your kid to honor a family member can get pretty toxic when one person becomes fixated on it – in a normal situation both parties present names they like until they find one they both like, when one person decides there is only one possible name that isn’t ok.”
Another added: “This would be the hill I would die on. She is a child of both cultures and he can’t make 1/2 of her disappear. I am going to guess she will learn both languages. He seems to think she will never know or be bothered by it because she is being raised in his country.”
Many, many people emphasized that a baby’s name should always be a mutually agreed upon decision. “Names are a 2 yes/1 no situation,” someone wrote. “Given that it’s a word for genitalia in your country that should be an instant no. It sucks, and it’s not fair to your husband, but that’s unfortunately the way it is.”
What are your thoughts? How would you handle this sticky situation?
See the meaning of our favorite royal baby names from around the world.
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