Can't run, can't hide: How your blind date knows you're a mom

Dec 26, 2007 at 10:01 p.m. ET

You want to have a romantic evening out; perhaps recapturing how it once felt -- before you ever had kids -- to be footloose and fancy-free. You've hired a babysitter and dolled yourself up... you're out the door to meet your date and no one would ever suspect that you're a mommy! Or would they?

How he knows you're a mom when...

  • He spots a Poke'mon sticker stuck to the heel of your shoe.

  • You say his car is "Like totally awesome, dude."

  • When the meal comes you tuck in his napkin and begin cutting his meat into bite-size pieces.

  • You constantly interrupt him to correct his grammar.

  • You speak in single-syllable words.

  • He catches you humming the theme to Sesame Street, but you insist it's from an Italian operetta.

  • Midway through dinner you excuse yourself to go "potty."

  • You suggest to the Maitre'd that they might want to consider using outlet covers on the light sockets that aren't in use.

  • You refer to your friends as "Timmy's mom, Jennifer's mom and Ashley's mom."

  • His favorite band is Savage Garden. Yours is the Washington Middle School Jazz Band.

  • You urge him to eat all of his vegetables so he can be "big and strong."

  • You know just a little too much about Pikachu and Charmander.

  • Your favorite movie is "The Little Mermaid."

  • Your signature scent seems to be a mixture of inexpensive perfume and Bounce dryer sheets with a hint of Vick's Vapor Rub.

  • You offer to carry his cell phone in your purse... and you still have room for his briefcase.

  • He could play Let's Make a Deal with Monty Hall and the contents of your purse.

  • You seem to hoard the food on your plate as though someone were going grab it at any minute.

  • He could swear that's a spit ball stuck in your hair.

  • When he talks about going to the gym, you ask if that is at Randolph High or Lincoln High.

  • You refuse to turn the car ignition on until he is wearing his seat belt.

  • Upon being seated at the restaurant, you take away all his sharp silverware.

  • You thoughtfully fill his water glass... but only half full -- in case he spills.

  • You make him turn around during the love scenes of the movie.

  • You turn into a pumpkin at your babysitter's bedtime.

  • The only restaurant where you are familiar with the menu (and Happy Meal prize) is McDonald's.

  • You insist on pointing out the moral to every story.

  • There's a partially-eaten sucker stuck to the back of your coat.

  • When he kisses you good-night, you spit on a tissue and wipe the lipstick smudge off his cheek.