A pregnant woman has banned her husband — and her in-laws — from the delivery room after a baby name debate spiraled.
Choosing your baby’s name is a heavy decision; couples will deliberate, and even disagree, on the topic. But opening up the debate to extended family members is messy, as a woman on Reddit learned.
“In my husband’s family, there is a tradition of naming a baby before it is born,” she explained on Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” vertical. “The name is embroidered onto a blanket that has been passed down from generation to generation, and the baby is wrapped in the blanket when it is born. I’m trying to come up with a name we both like, but some of the names he suggests do not resonate with me.”
Her husband, who the wife says criticizes her name choices, has suggested they name the baby after his grandmother Beatrice, which his wife doesn’t like. “I wanted to have a list of names so that when I see her I can name her after what I think is appropriate,” she explained. “Although it can sound odd, I wanted to see her before naming her but have decided not to so that he can please his family.”
The original poster wants to name their baby Jessica, after her late sister, and that’s where her mother-in-law comes in. “Today his mother was pressuring me to suggest a name, and I just blurted out the name Jessica,” she wrote. “After a pause and a laugh, she said it was a name for a large girl, and it was a very unsuitable name. She went on to ask me if I wanted the baby to be ugly and if I was trying to ruin its life before it was even born.”
Later, this happened: “As he is close with his sister, he struggled with his frustrations with her, which she then did to her mother. The next day she was at my doorstep and told me that she decided on a name. and then said my decor was tacky, She said she was naming the baby Connie, after her mother. It was a name neither I nor my husband picked, and wouldn’t cause an argument between us. I told her no and asked her to leave and eventually, she did, but not after some insults were issued to me.”
The woman’s husband agreed with his family — and kicked his wife out of their home. “I packed my things, then went to my older sister’s house,” she wrote adding of her husband, “He’s been trying to contact me for a few days now, apologizing, but I don’t want to speak to him.”
As it stands, the wife refuses to inform her in-laws when she goes into labor and won’t allow them — or her husband — to be present for the birth. However, she regrets the outcome. “…I was rude to his mother, and I feel I have been impatient with my in laws,” she told the forum. “I may be in the wrong as it is a tradition and it’s not my choice to break it. It means a lot to them, and it may have been unfair of me.”
So what does Reddit think? Well, not very highly of the woman’s in-laws.
“The audacity of the mother coming in and ‘picking out a name,'” someone wrote. “….This is not her place. I think they’re causing too much stress for you and the baby. Going to give birth alone I think is a better situation…” A commenter then wrote, “MIL needs to be kept away from the baby, probably until the baby is an adult and can speak for herself.”
But readers held the husband accountable, writing, “Your husband and his family are incredibly toxic and entitled” and “If her husband can treat her like this and kick her out when she’s pregnant and extremely vulnerable I don’t want to know what else he’s capable of.”
“File for divorce,” someone recommended.
And readers wanted the soon-to-be mom to stand up for herself. “…You’re going to be a mother OP, stop letting people walk all over you or they will expect to do the same to your child” and one questioned, “Do you really want to put up with that forever?”
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