The wife of the dad in question reached out to the popular Am I The A**hole forum on Reddit to ask if she was the a**hole for calling her husband “ridiculous” for wanting to take a complete pass on family obligations for the entire month.
“My husband is turning 30 next month. It’s a big deal for him clearly and he wanted to rightfully be ‘pampered’ and feel special on this [occasion],” she wrote. “But the thing is that he came up with a list and called it ‘birthday month expectations’ I didn’t know what that meant [until] he started reading the list out loud which consists of things he expects from throughout the entire month.”
Some of the things her husband wanted for his birthday month, according to the wife’s post, including not doing any type of chores, cooking, or cleaning; playing with his Xbox “for hours on end without me interrupting or nagging him”; not paying his part of the rent; going out with his friends “whenever he wants”; skipping any given workday; and sleeping in “without being bothered to wake up to drive our son to school or do any emergency fixes.”
Um, what? This dad isn’t asking for a little pampering, he’s asking for a complete break from all responsibilities as a father, husband and a partner…for a month. The wife said she told her husband, “Are you being serious right now?” and he responded by making a face and saying, “Oh no worries this will only last for a month.”
OP also mentioned that they both work, but she already does the majority of the household chores and their son’s care, and pays the majority of rent, bills, and Internet payments. When the wife called his demands “flat-out ridiculous” and that his expectations were “out of line,” the husband responded by “giving me [grief] about how I’m being selfish towards his wants and that in my place he would’ve agreed to do all he could to make my [birthday month] the happiest month of the year for me.” Yeah…sure.
Commenters overwhelmingly sided with the wife, with one saying, “Lol if I pulled that sh*t on my wife I’d expect divorce papers for my birthday present. NTA.” Another said the husband’s demands were putting the wife and child at risk, writing, “So first off, VERY CLEARLY NTA. What your husband is asking for is both ludicrous and insulting.”
Another commenter tried to explain what they thought was going on with the husband, writing, “I suspect he’s unhappy with where he is in life right now, clearly he’s too immature to have the responsibilities of kids and a family, and this is symptomatic of that. So he’s asked something incredibly unreasonable, which in his mind, gives him the right to resent his partner for not allowing him to do this. I see this being brought up at the eventual midlife break up or affair.”
Others suggested he take one day, but not a month. One said, “Maybe a weekend but not a sodding month!” and another added, “You get a day. That’s it.”
We couldn’t agree more. This dad needs to grow up for his birthday — and start taking on even more responsibilities every other day, too.