It’s birthday party season! While this year promises to be a great one for fun summer parties — for kids and adults alike — there’s always a bit of drama when sending out the birthday party invites, especially when it comes to a birthday party for kids. It can get tricky when you have to consider the number of kids a space (or your home) will hold, which kids your child likes, which kids get along with each other, and who will actually come to the birthday party, among other things. There’s often someone who feels excluded, and feelings get hurt all around.
That’s the situation on Reddit’s Am I The Asshole forum, where a mom is asking if she was in the wrong for telling another mother exactly why that mom’s child was excluded from her own son’s birthday sleepover. And here’s the kicker: It’s not the kid who’s the issue here, but rather, his inconsiderate mom.
Let’s dissect: Original poster (OP) emu_party7894 shares that she hosted a superhero slumber party for her son’s 10th birthday.
“My son is/was friends with a boy named James from his class. He came to the last two sleepover parties, and while well behaved, it was his parents who I felt were the problem. When we send out the invites, we tell the parents when the party is and what time to pick the kids up the next day. For the last two parties, James was always the last one to be picked up.”
OK, things happen. Being a little late to pick up your child doesn’t seem like the worst offense, but as the OP goes on to explain the situation, James’ mom didn’t show up for hours.
“At 11:30, I texted James’ mom and asked if she was coming to get him, she said she was on her way. I assumed she ran an errand and was just running behind, no big deal. By 12:30, she hadn’t shown up, I texted her again … She responded that she was eating lunch and would be there soon.” It turns out James’ mother didn’t pick him up until after 4:00 pm that afternoon.
We can see why the OP was irked. This year, as a result, she decided to not invite James, which is a shame because it’s not his fault … it’s his chronically late mom! Of course, James’ mom caught wind of her son being excluded from the party, was understandably upset and asked OP for an explanation — which she got. “She called me an uppity bitch and has since blocked me on social media and her phone,” . AITA for telling her why her son was not invited?”
“This isn’t because she is chronically tardy,” commented Ursula2071. “This is because she is using the other parents as free childcare so she can have a breather. When someone tells you that you need to pick up your kid…it is not when you can get there, it is right now. She is disrespecting everyone else’s time and basically saying she is more important. I feel for her kid, but I would not invite him either.”
Commenter Historical-Ad1493 related to this situation in the worst way. “NTA I was James growing up. My mom would show up hours late if at all (alcoholic and man crazy). I would sit on the curb and wait for her because I knew when it was time to leave and I knew you went home at dinner time if not invited. I hated how this made me feel. I’m 60 (f) and to this day I can’t handle being late and people tease me that I’m early (LOL now I wait in my car before events). Anyway, I wish someone would have been firm with my mom.”
Commenter Johnny9k thinks James’ mom was otherwise ‘occupied’ for those hours she was late picking up her son: “NTA – But 5 hours is not a mom that is “chronically late”, that’s a mom who is getting a “delivery” from the mail man while dad is at work and OP is providing free day care.”
We wouldn’t go that far, but it is super inconsiderate to pick up your child hours after a birthday party ends — or any party or play date with a designated pick-up time, for that matter. We’re sending James all the good vibes and hope that this is mom’s wake-up call.
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