There are few things more annoying for a new mom than having a pushy and manipulative in-law. Everyone seems to have opinions on the “right” way to raise a baby, but sometimes folks just get out of hand with their “well-meaning advice,” and one Reddit mom has had enough of her mother-in-law trying to convince her to stop breastfeeding her 2-month-old.
“I’m exclusively breastfeeding my 2-month-old after a bit of problems in the beginning with latching and nipple pain. Having my LO (little one) be exclusively breastfed was a huge accomplishment for me and for that reason, I don’t plan on bottle-feeding pumped milk or formula any time soon,” wrote Sensitive-Section137 in the JustNoMIL subreddit. “My MIL however has a problem with this. Literally any time I come over, she mentions how she wishes she had a bottle for my LO so I can ‘have a break,’ or how she told so and so ‘OP should bottle feed so she can sleep better.'”
Lots of folks say exclusive breastfeeding is way more convenient than bottle-feeding pumped breastmilk. Pumping and storing milk is definitely not a “break” and this grandmother should probably realize that.
“It angers me a lot because I have already told her and SO (significant other) how passionate I am about exclusively breastfeeding for as long as I can,” she continued. “I also know she wants me to bottle feed so she can keep LO overnight but like, at 2 months!?!?”
That gets a big ol’ nope from us. Two months is way too young for an extended stay at grandma’s house!
“Usually SO isn’t in the mix, but the other day he mentioned how I should start pumping because if I end up getting sick, the baby will have milk to drink. Now while that is a valid point, I know my SO doesn’t usually speak that way and realize my MIL probably has mentioned it to him while I wasn’t there,” the new mom wrote. “Now MIL isn’t a bad person, but there are some habits and things she does that I just don’t agree with. I’m also not comfortable leaving my 2-month-old alone with her and don’t really need a break. …I wish there was a way I could finally get her to stop asking without coming off as rude.”
We have lots of thoughts about this situation, but the commenters offered up some really great advice.
“‘I really appreciate your concern ‘MIL’ but at this point, since I had such difficulties in the beginning, I will not be introducing a bottle until LO is older. As far as spending the night, we will be waiting until LO is totally weaned before we do that.’ End of story. You are mom and whatever you want is how it’s going to be. PERIOD,” wrote Suspicious_Poem8697.
“I wonder if a redirect would work. She isn’t trying to be helpful but would something like, ‘It sounds like you are trying to be helpful. I don’t think you realize I’ve made my decision and more advice isn’t necessary. If you DO want to help, will you pick up … from the grocery store?’ suggested WigglyChinHair.
And lots of people brought up the fact that you absolutely should continue to breastfeed when you’re sick, as long as you’re able.
“You should continue to nurse if you get sick. The antibodies for your illness will be in your breast milk and will protect your baby,” wrote Ctrpt. “As for your MIL, [you’re] NTA. She is being selfish and needs to back off. Also, your husband needs to support you 100%.”
Mothers-in-law can be tough anytime, but especially when a new baby arrives on the scene. Here’s hoping this one backs off on her demanding ways before it escalates and causes permanent damage to the relationship.
Celebrate the beauty of different breastfeeding journeys through these photographs.