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Chrissy Teigen Says Loss Has Taught Her ‘How Strong’ She Can Be

As the cover star of People’s 2021 Beautiful Issue, Chrissy Teigen is showcasing that both joy and pain are beautiful in their own ways. The public has long felt that it knows the model and cookbook author almost personally, thanks to Teigen’s honest and funny social media posts, but this last year she and husband John Legend gave an even more intimate look inside their lives when they lost their son, Jack, at 20 weeks pregnant.

The star shared several incredibly personal photos and wrote about the devastating loss on Instagram, describing the experience to be “the kind of deep pain you only hear about.”

“I’ve learned how strong physically and mentally a body can be. I’ve learned how strong I am,” Teigen told People for the cover story. “This year has been a roller coaster for everybody in the world, including our little family.”

In December, the star also shared a photo of her body with its still-present bump and how she is proud of what her body is capable of.

“Even though I’m no longer pregnant, every glance in the mirror reminds me of what could have been. And I have no idea why i still have this bump, honestly. It’s frustrating. But I’m proud of where this entire journey took my body and mind in other ways,” she wrote.

“I love being pregnant, so so much, and I’m sad I never will be again. But I am lucky to have two amazing little ones who are transforming into big little people more and more every single day,” continued the mom of daughter Luna, 4, and 2-year-old son Miles. “Anyhoo. Love u guys. Xx”

On what would have been Jack’s due date, Feb. 20, 2021, Teigen shared a photo of her wrist with three bracelets, each with the name of her children, with the caption, “Today was your due date. we love you forever 💜.”

Sharing the story of her pregnancy loss and grief has connected Teigen to many people in new ways, helping others cope with miscarriage and creating a supportive community for all who experience the loss of a baby.

“Seeing people rally around us has been really beautiful,” Teigen told People. “There have been things in the past year that I never thought John would have to see, but it’s also been so wonderful that we have prevailed and still see each other with so much more love than we could have ever, ever imagined ever in our lives. Whatever love we put out into the world 10 years ago, we’re getting it back tenfold. I feel every piece of love from everybody around the world.”

That’s great to hear, since we also know that haters on Twitter have given Teigen a rough time this year, eventually pushing her to quit the platform.

The same week baby Jack would have been born, Teigen talked with Ellen DeGeneres about how her miscarriage eventually became “really transformative” for her, and how it lead her to therapy and giving up alcohol for good.

She said it “really saved me, because I don’t think that I would’ve discovered therapy and then sobriety and this path of feeling good about myself and feeling like a new person.”

Raised by her Thai mom, Vilailuck “Pepper” Teigen, the former supermodel is also speaking out as an ally for the Asian community as the number of hates crimes against Asians continue to grow throughout the pandemic. She recently reposted several slides of educational info from Kim Saira and Annie Wu about how to be an anti-racist.

Teigen and her mom have always had a close relationship, and the model now employs many of her mother’s parenting techniques with her own kids.

“My mom was never once like, ‘You probably shouldn’t use Sharpie on your eyebrows,’ ” she told PEOPLE, laughing. “She just let me do it — and I learned! With kids, you let them figure out what they love. John and I are both very relaxed and willing to learn together.”

These other famous parents have been open about suffering miscarriages.

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