Getting pregnant after a miscarriage is a tremendous joy, but that happiness is often tempered by the anxiety of another potential loss, as well as the memory of what could have been. Bachelor alum Lauren Burnham, who announced in December that she and husband Arie Luyendyk are expecting again, expressed this feeling perfectly in a beautiful Instagram post on Wednesday.
“The darkness that surrounds a loss is something not easily forgotten,” she wrote in the caption accompanying a topless photo of herself in form-fitting pre-pregnancy jeans with her full belly on display.
“The months of mourning, the months of hoping, to now, moments of worry. Even in the midst of something as beautiful as new life, that darkness finds its way in to remind me that it did in fact exist.”
Burnham and Luyendyk met in 2017 on season 22 of The Bachelor and married in January 2019, just five months before welcoming daughter Alessi, now 2 years old. Last May, Burnham revealed she had recently suffered a miscarriage in a heartbreaking YouTube video. But the couple is now excitedly expecting a rainbow baby — well, actually, two! Yep, Burnham is pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl.
In Wednesday’s Instagram post, Burnham described how their miscarriage last spring has affected this pregnancy experience. “It’s tarnished the blissful ignorance I gleefully experienced the first time around,” she wrote. “All of that said, I’m proud of this body and what we’ve endured together. I’m proud of my second and third babies for growing so well, and grateful for all the reminders they send me saying, ‘Mom, we’re okay.’ I’m proud of my journey through the darkness, because without that, the light I see now wouldn’t shine quite so bright.”
Her fans on the ‘Gram responded with messages of support and thanks. “Your strength following your loss has helped me tremendously with mine,” commented @stephanie51317. “I’m so hopeful because of you.” And @angeline__turner wrote, “The caption is everything for us who lost & now are awaiting the arrival of our blessing.”
It’s so important for women who have experienced miscarriage to share their experiences. Feeling the love and support of women who have gone through the same pain can be hugely helpful, and it can also help friends and family better understand the feelings of women in their lives who have lost a baby.
As @victoriaagalati wrote on Burnham’s post, “It’s like these words were plucked from my brain and into this post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts for those who can relate and to those who want to understand the difficulty.”
These other famous parents have been open about suffering miscarriages.