Many of us are really over the idea of gender reveals — they start massive forest fires, people are just too over-the-top with them, and, oh yeah, sex organs don’t necessarily predict gender. But one dad on Reddit may have gone too far in protesting his wife’s desire to do a huge gender reveal for their second child like the one she did for their first.
“My wife is really into films, Oscar-type films, and she is like an analyzer when watching them,” Beneficial-Poetry-74 wrote on the AITA subreddit. “So she wanted to make a gender reveal short film, 10 minutes long to say we’re having a girl. Kind of weird but I went along with it. We posted it, and she was super happy with it, but it cost so much. She hired expensive cameras; we drove out to scenic areas for the right shot; I’m working full time during this process, exhausting.”
We can see his point here. That is a lot. Though maybe it fulfilled the wife’s long-held desire to be a filmmaker? Beneficial-Poetry-74 really lost us with what he did next.
“So we just found out that we’re having a boy, and she started writing a script,” he said. “I thought there’s no fucking way I’m doing that again, so I posted on Facebook, ‘We’re having a boy.’ She’s pissed at me telling me to delete it, but the damage is done. I don’t feel bad, I saved us at least £4k.”
Oof. We can’t decide if that’s passive-aggressive or just plain aggressive-aggressive. Redditors sure are having a time of debating his move.
There are those in the anti-gender-reveal camp applauding this dad.
“Maybe not a popular opinion, but $4k is ridiculous and so are gender reveals in general,” besupergood wrote. “Would you seriously sit through some boring long af cringe amateur video to find out something you don’t actually care about, that could’ve been read in a few words on a Facebook post? What about doing it a second time for the next kid? The money could’ve been put towards something important like a college fund or something else for the child’s future instead of a video they’ll likely be really embarrassed about when they grow up.”
“I actually think what you did is kind of funny. Good for you!” QAB1974 added. “I had two babies and made phone calls when I learned their genders. Imagine that? CALLING the people who need to know & NOT making it a red-carpet event. What a concept!”
Still, it’s the way this dad went about ruining his wife’s project that has most people calling him the asshole.
“Why does OP get a pass for taking it upon himself to announce this on FB without even talking to his wife first?” bendingspoonss asked. “The adult thing to do would have been to, you know, talk to her and explain that he didn’t think it was worth such a huge monetary investment, maybe even brainstorm some cheaper cute ways to announce it. I would be furious if my husband just slapped something like this up on FB knowing that it was important to me.”
“So what you’re saying is because you think something is dumb, then it’s dumb and your partner doesn’t even deserve a conversation before you make a decision that affects them. Cool cool cool,” _0_1_1_2_3_5_8_13_21 said.
Gender reveals aside, many agreed that this is definitely not how to have a healthy marriage.
“I agree with you on gender reveals being ridiculous, and that being way too much money to waste on one,” HoldFastO2 wrote. “But you don’t just kneecap something your partner is this excited about without talking to them first. They both need to work on their communication.”
Actually, we can’t see what the wife did wrong in terms of communication. She made her wishes loud and clear, while her husband sat back and let his bitterness grow until he made this unilateral move. When she finds a new way to channel that creative energy, he’d better hope it’s not a divorce-papers reveal movie.
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