Listen, it’s perfectly normal and OK to wish for a boy or a girl when you’re planning to have kids. We are a society screwed up by gender norms. What’s important is how you act next: As in, you realize your kids’ genitalia doesn’t have any bearing on how much you will love them, nor how awesome your time with them will be. One Reddit dad needs to hear this advice a lot more, given how abominably he reacted to his wife’s ultrasound.
“Found out today at the ultrasound that my wife is pregnant with twin girls,” justwantoneboy wrote on the AITA subreddit. “I wasn’t mad, but I was let down because we already have two daughters and I said, ‘C’mon!’ It was an accident. I only meant to say it in my head but I guess I was so frustrated it came out my mouth and I said it out loud. But it was fine because everybody laughed.”
If he had ended there, we would be all good. I actually burst into full-throated sobs when I found out I was having a boy. It happens. It’s what he did next that condemned him in our eyes, and that of thousands of redditors.
“I asked the doctor how I could increase the chances of having a boy next time, and he recommended something called the Shettles Method, but he said it wasn’t guaranteed and I thanked him,” justwantoneboy wrote. Though the wife laughed in the office, once they were in the car, she turned “into a different person,” he said. “She hasn’t spoken to me in a few hours. I don’t really see what the problem is.”
Further inviting the derision of the internet, justwantoneboy asked for people to stop commenting on his post once after 10 people had done so. LOL. Maybe some tiny, unconscious part of him actually did see what the problem is? As you may have guessed, he got more than 10 comments.
Let’s enjoy a few of them, shall we?
“Your wife is pregnant with TWO CHILDREN, not even had them yet, still making them, and you’ve already moved on to asking about how to make sure the NEXT ONE she carries is a boy?? You should be ashamed of yourself,” katmck14 wrote.
“I know being disappointed isn’t abnormal, but you keep that shit to yourself and get a therapist or something,” jollymo17 said. “Not to mention, kids don’t always turn out how you might expect. Your child’s gender identity may not match their sex. Their hobbies might not end up being ones that are ‘typical’ of their gender. My brother likes to bake and play video games, I (a woman) like watching sports and knitting. We all contain multitudes lol.”
“[W]hile it’s ok to feel your feelings, the key is, move on and fucking be grateful you have these kids, and stop letting yourself believe a penis is a magic wand that will fulfill whatever dad fantasy you had that is somehow not fulfillable with four other kids,” LittleMtnMama wrote. “If I were your wife after that little convo, I’d get the tubes tied after birth.”
“Not only do you want to control the sex of your baby, but you also want to control the number of replies on an open & free platform,” HIOP-Sartre said. “Do you have a preference as to what time you want the sun to rise tomorrow?”
We hope someone has found a way to show this thread to the mom. Picturing her, pregnant with twins, and munching on some popcorn as she scrolls through the comments, makes us feel just a little better about the internet.
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