Due to the way reality TV works, there’s not exactly any suspense or surprise to the Teen Mom 2 storyline in which Kailyn Lowry was considering having an abortion with her fourth child. We’ve already seen adorable photos of baby boy Creed, who was born in July. But the value of a show like this is that we get to watch Lowry as she goes through this emotional struggle, as not many people are so brave and willing to open up about such a difficult, personal decision.
“I still don’t believe that I’m pregnant,” Lowry said on the episode that aired on Tuesday. “I did consider abortion. I went to my abortion appointment, but I had the ultrasound. I was just like, ‘I need to see the ultrasound to see if I connect with this baby.’ At that point, I just decided that abortion wasn’t for me.”
This statement was not in opposition to a woman’s right to choose, mind you. This is about one mom who has a difficult relationship with her ex, Chris Lopez, who is the father of her son Lux as well as Creed. This is about one mom who wasn’t sure about her own ability to handle four children on her own.
“I actually felt worse and more guilty now with this pregnancy, and questioning if I’m doing the right thing, more so with this one at 27 than I did with Isaac at 17,” she told her friend on the phone.
But Lowry does not think anyone else could have had say in this decision other than herself, though she knows people watching may think otherwise.
“People are not going to understand, and I have to be okay with that because these are decisions that were up to me,” she said on the show. “I have to be okay with the backlash and misunderstandings.”
In August, she revealed to People that she had considered abortion, and she was worried about the reaction once this episode aired. “Not everything is black and white, not everything is cut and dry,” she told the magazine. “So I hope that people understand the thought process and the pain that I was going through.”
Once she made her decision and told the fathers of her other two boys, Lowry said she started to feel slightly better. Still, she knew she had a tough road ahead.
“It’s very weird for me to say that I’m going to have four boys and then the fact that I am a single mom is a little bit of a hard pill to swallow,” she said on the show after getting the ultrasound that revealed she was having another boy. “Being pregnant and not knowing what to do, and whether I should keep the baby — I think I go through waves of emotion. Fast forward to the ultrasound. At that point, now I think I felt hopeful.”
Now, of course, we know Lowry loves her youngest child — and nothing she went through while pregnant should be a reflection of how she is as a mother toward him. But we’re all grateful that she shared this journey publicly, normalizing the doubt that other parents might feel about adding to their family. Whatever others choose is up to them, just as it was up to this mom.