While it’s very hard to feel like Kim Kardashian West’s life is anything like that of a regular mother’s, we have had many moments during this pandemic of absolutely relating to what she’s gone through. On the latest episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, any parent watching probably experienced a wicked flashback to those first few weeks of being totally overwhelmed while stuck in lockdown with our children.
“Right now, I do want to lose it more than I give off,” Kardashian West told the camera, as we see many scenes of the kids playing wildly in the house. “The house is extremely chaotic because we are trying to figure out homeschooling, and my kids can’t see their friends or their cousins.”
Throughout the episode, we recognize see the various stages we all went through in the spring … and maybe see what may be coming if we have to go into full lockdown mode again this winter.
First, the guilt
Many of us, because of mom guilt, thought we were somehow supposed to enjoy lockdown as a chance to spend more time with our children. And when we found it to be less than enjoyable, it seemed like we were doing something wrong.
“I mean, I love spending this much time with them, but it’s just such a change,” Kardashian West said, seeming to try to soften her complaints.
Second, the longing for time alone
KUWTK gave us another look at the video Kim shared months ago, when North West interrupted her makeup tutorial, even though she was trying to hide from them in the guest bathroom.
“I’m the best at real makeup,” she told her mom. “You’re the best at fake makeup.”
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I’m walking you step-by-step through a quick and natural makeup routine for staying home. (With unexpected cameo from North) I’m using some of my @kkwbeauty essentials: -Liquid Concealer in shade 7 -Baking Powder in shade 2 -Crème Contour & Highlight Set in Medium -Powder Contour & Highlight Palette in Medium -Classic Shimmers Blush Palette -Mascara -Nude 1.5 Lip Liner -90's Icon Matte Lipstick -Brightening Powder in shade 2
Now we know that Kanye West was quarantined in his bedroom with COVID-19 at this time, so Kardashian West really had no break whatsoever from her children.
“I’m really frustrated that I can’t even get 30 minutes to myself,” she said.
We assume she must at some point have found someone to watch the kids for a minute, because there’s a scene in which Kardashian West escapes to her mother’s house for the first time.
“They want to be up my asshole,” she complains to the woman who raised her and her five siblings. She even recalls telling the kids: “You guys, I’m actually going to die if you don’t leave me alone.”
Kim tried to keep up with some of her commitments, including joining a class at Georgetown University to talk about her work solving mass incarceration. But in the middle of the Zoom, she had to leave, possibly to save daughter Chicago from drowning herself in the pool. I mean, most of us don’t have pools, but we can definitely relate to that work-vs.-keeping-children-alive conflict.
Realizing we are not alone
Finally, Kardashian West got on the phone to vent with her friend Khadijah Haqq, who was home with her two kids.
“I literally hear Chicago crying in the other room, and I don’t care,” she told her. “I am literally feeling like an awful mom just letting her cry in the other room and figuring it out. It’s just like, I can’t.”
Haqq was going through the same thing. “I know you feel guilty but you’re not getting any breaks,” she said. “They’re around you all day. … Last week, I was legit crying. All the moms I speak to we’re trying to talk each other off the ledge.”
Just knowing that helps so much, even now.
Finally, getting to be alone … and missing them!
When Kanye finally tested negative for COVID, he came to his wife’s rescue and took the kids to Wyoming.
“I stayed, and I do not know what to do with myself,” she said, reveling in the silence of an empty house and suddenly free schedule. For all the conflict we hear that Kim and Kanye went through this year (and his betrayal of her confidence during his presidential run), this Wyoming trip must have earned him big points in the bank, because it is exactly what she needed.
It turned out to be so good for her, she missed her kids within a day.
“I’m obsessed with them and I can’t wait for them to come home,” Kardashian West said.
Not that the rest of us have partners with giant ranches to escape to, but even getting an afternoon of alone time has proven enormously restorative to parents this year. It’s something we can’t forget to do for ourselves and our partners regularly.