Christina Anstead has put much of her life and work on display in her reality shows and social media accounts, but this week she had to remind followers that what they see is definitely not the full picture. That’s especially true where her three kids are concerned. She had to make this point, sadly, because people were mom-shaming her for not spending enough time with her children.
“[D]espite what you see on Instagram, most people are struggling,” the HGTV star wrote on Instagram Wednesday night. “When I get told, ‘You must be an absent mother because you are not with your kids’ — smh wake up, people. I hardly post anymore … and I def do not want to post my kids every freaking day to make it a contest of who’s a better parent 🤦🏼♀️ f that.”
We can’t tell whether this is a dig at her exes, Tarek El Moussa and Ant Anstead, or at the people who have decided to compare her to them. We’ll tell you that if you simply glance at their Instagram landing pages, it hardly seems like Christina Anstead posts fewer pictures of Taylor, Brayden, and Hudson than their dads do. But of course, even in the 21st century, there are those who judge moms more harshly than dads for daring to have any life beyond their children’s.
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This year has been incredibly isolating. Activities like church, travel, dinner, movies, sports- canceled. No longer seeing my friends smiling faces on set (all covered by masks) it all feels like shit. So many changes for so many people. So despite what you see on Instagram most people are struggling. When I get told “you must be an absent mother because you are not with your kids” – smh wake up people. I hardly post anymore … and I def do not want to post my kids every freaking day to make it a contest of who’s a better parent 🤦🏼♀️ f that. This doesn’t mean I’m not with my kids – it means the opposite – I am with them- I’m present. So stop parent shaming people, stop choosing sides when there is no side to choose. My point being – when you see stuff on here take it all with a grain of salt. There is a whole lot of Filters and fake smiles. I’ve been guilty of faking it too. We are all struggling – some of us are just better at “masking” it.
Anstead is a busy person, with two TV shows and the businesses behind them, along with other endeavors. But she also said that she’s spending far more time with her children than what she decides to display to others.
“This doesn’t mean I’m not with my kids,” she wrote. “It means the opposite — I am with them. I’m present. So stop parent-shaming people, stop choosing sides when there is no side to choose. My point being, when you see stuff on here, take it all with a grain of salt. There is a whole lot of filters and fake smiles. I’ve been guilty of faking it too. We are all struggling. Some of us are just better at ‘masking’ it.”
Indeed, Anstead just officially filed for divorce on Tuesday. Do these shamers think she should be posting photos of the process, or of her and the kids crying about it, or whatever other tumultuous emotions they all might be experiencing right now? Nope. Especially not when Instagram is also part of the business model for someone like her — the public, as well as corporate sponsors, just aren’t into seeing that much realness. Which, in fact, makes it quite brave that she would post this message, too.
We’ll let one of her fans speak for us: “Idk you personally, but from watching you on TV you definitely put your kids ahead of everyone and everything thing else,” adamsmommo wrote. “F the shamers. You do you! Hang in there!!!”