Most parents would never admit to having a favorite child (because, duh, isn’t that just…mean?), but sadly, research backs up the fact that most parents prefer one kid over another. According to a 2005 study published in NCBI, 74 percent of mothers admitted to having a favorite child while 70 percent of fathers confessed to having a preference. Still, that doesn’t mean you need to shout your preference to the world / to your own kids. Which is why we think this TikTok star and dad (who’s going viral for explaining just why he’s chosen his favorite and least favorite children) is being a primo dick.
At first, we thought the video was kind of amusing. But we did not expect it to take this turn.
“People go ‘Zach, you don’t have favorites in your kids!’” the dad says while laughing. “The fuck I don’t! Here’s the big difference about why I love the oldest the most,” he begins his story. “She breaks an eight-dollar lamp from Walmart, you would have thought she shot me at point-blank range. She’s shaking and crying and I’m like ‘Honey it’s okay, you were chasing the dog. Shit happens!’” Then, he tells his viewers why the youngest is his least favorite.
“My youngest, that little psychopath, comes up to me butt-ass naked and goes, ‘Dad I pooped behind the couch.’” He then goes on to explain how she pushed the couch with her “fat little ass behind” and complains about having to pick up “human shit.” Um, welcome to fatherhood? Has this man never changed a diaper in his life? Because when you’re parenting, shit (literally) happens, dude.
Oh, and in addition to calling his daughter “fat” and a “psychopath,” this guy also calls her “an animal” and his “least favorite.”
Commenters had varying opinions. Some were on board with the dad, but even those who agreed that they, too, have a favorite child emphasized that they don’t announce this to the world.
“I have favorite, I just don’t tell them that,” wrote one commenter. “Every parent has a favorite and if you say you don’t, you’re lying.”
“Tik Tok parents are the best birth control,” wrote another.
“She’s your least favorite because she’s the most like you,” added an insightful viewer.
But perhaps the most spot-on comment is this one: “He forgot to read the terms and conditions when signing up to be a dad.” Um, yes. Because if you’re not prepared to clean up some poop, definitely don’t have kids.
If the favorite child is the one who behaves the best and poops the least, then we know a lot of kids who are doomed. Let’s hope the other parents keep their hurtful thoughts to themselves — not recorded for posterity.
Here are some famous fathers we actually like.