Never underestimate the human capacity to be awful to other humans — even when those other humans are pregnant mothers. (Just look at the stats on violence against pregnant women.) So when a mother-in-law took to Reddit to question whether she was wrong to keep her delicate son out of the delivery room while his wife gave birth to their twins? Well, we can believe that this is a thing that actually happened.
“My son (33M) and his wife(34F) have been having a lot of trouble in their marriage since she got pregnant with twins,” bosnaeast wrote in the AmItheAsshole subreddit. She went on to describe this trouble — which, a warning to all mothers and also compassionate people, this is going to make you want to throw things. For the most part, it involves the husband not liking his wife’s pregnant (with twins!) body.
“He is very much an adherent of healthy living, so it was hard for him when even when they had the whole family over, she would leave the table and devour leftover takeout food in the kitchen,” she wrote. “And when he’d buy healthy food and offer her a gym membership, she would just yell at him.”
This man also compared his pregnant (with twins!) wife’s body to his own 20-year-old sister who recently gave birth (not to twins!), saying his wife isn’t trying hard enough for him.
— Am I the Asshole? (@AITA_reddit) May 11, 2020
The shit really hit the fan between the couple when he admitted that he was turned off by the babies kicking, and the wife responded by kicking him… out of the house. Two days later the wife was in labor. And here is where the grandma showed herself to be as awful as her son.
“My son was contemplating whether he should be in the delivery room, but I as a woman know that men get traumatized when seeing the baby come out,” bosnaeast said, and so she convinced her son to stay home. Now she seems hurt that her daughter-in-law isn’t letting them see the babies, that she named them without the dad’s input, and that the new mom’s friends are sending him angry texts.
Many on Reddit have responded to this post by calling it too extreme to be real. Of course, it is always possible that someone would invent this story to get attention on the forum, but the mother-in-law’s and son’s behavior are also quite believable to anyone who’s known a controlling spouse or parent. In any case, we hope the exchange it inspired might open some people’s eyes.
First, let’s dispel the myth about how witnessing childbirth is traumatizing to men. If you can’t handle that sight, guys, get a vasectomy.
“JFC, I mean, my husband doesn’t have to look directly into my cervix, but he can at least be there without being traumatized,” thiccbookshelf wrote.
“It’s ridiculous,” Cassopeia88 added. “Millions of people see their partners give birth and yet are somehow still attracted to their partner.”
Like. Even if it were okay to make those comments in general. She was pregnant. WITH TWINS!! GTFOH! I felt like I was starving when pregnant with mine until they got so big that I could barely eat…
— Christi Green (@cmhodges86) May 11, 2020
A dad, calling himself PunkLivesInMe, also shared his two cents about witnessing childbirth, writing, “I know from firsthand experience that watching my daughter being born was one of the happiest and most emotionally enriching experiences I will ever have. I wouldn’t trade that moment for anything, and if this isn’t fake then this is one of the cruelest things I can imagine denying to someone they supposedly love out of some misguided attempt to ‘protect’ them.”
Mothers also chimed in to discuss their own pregnancy appetites and weight gain, highlighting how out of line both mother and son were in policing the wife’s body.
“I just had twins, first (and last!) pregnancy at 33,” a_peanut wrote. “I literally had to eat calorie-dense midnight snacks or I would be dizzy with hunger by morning and almost pass out on my way to the bathroom. I ate more during pregnancy than I ever have in my life, and I have been obese from overeating before. Our grocery bill went up 20% by the third trimester. and that’s not including the random pastries and shit I would get. And yet I weighed less immediately after the birth than I did before getting pregnant. … If he hates the idea of her putting on weight, wait till he sees the stomach skin flap that won’t go down for years, if at all, from having her stomach get majorly distended by the double load.”
We’ll let mom-to-be theEllinator1211 have the last word here with her golden response: “I’m currently about 6.5 months pregnant with twins. If someone tried to give me a gym membership, I’d eat them.”
Here are photos that show childbirth is beautiful, no matter how messy.