Normally, I don’t love amplifying the voice of mommy-shamers, but every once in a while, it’s clear that someone needs to step in and set these people straight. The latest opinionated commenter to have me ready to throw a tantrum was a woman who decided to target Teen Mom 2’s Kailin Lowry over an absolutely adorable TikTok video of her 2-year-old son, who apparently hasn’t started potty training.
“I think you are one heck of a [mom] Kail but really???? Lux needs to be out of diapers,” someone named Caryn replied to Lowry’s Tweet of the video, which features Lux clad only in a diaper and showing off his moves.
“Lux turned 2 in August,” Kailyn wrote back. “I’m not going to rush him into something based on someone else’s standards. What works for us is waiting until he’s ready. Not when I’M ready.”
That was quite a measured response from the mom, but I suppose being a parent on television for more than a decade does make a person get rather used to these “helpful” comments. My own answer would have been unfit to print.
While there are those very dedicated parents who believe in Elimination Communication and claim to be able to potty-train their newborn infants, for most of us, 2 years old is in no way too old to be in diapers. Experts don’t prescribe an exact age for the process but advise parents to wait until toddlers show signs that they’re ready to begin. Signs include being more interested in staying dry, being able to stay dry for longer stretches of time and hiding to poop in privacy. This may be when they’re 18-24 months (per the Mayo Clinic), or it may be later.
According to family and relationship psychologist Dr. Fran Walfish, Kailyn is absolutely right about waiting for Lux, rather than going by her own timeline (or that of some random stranger on the internet).
“Never push or force potty training,” Walfish told SheKnows. “Toilet training is one of only four crucial developmental milestones [eating, sleeping, talking and elimination] where parents and children can get stuck in a power struggle/battle.”
While you’re at it, self-appointed parenting police of the internet, please also refrain from telling moms like Jill Duggar — and any other parent, famous or not — when their kids should stop taking naps. This is all making me want to lie down right now.