Real Housewives Debuts the ‘Weaning Party’ & We Just Can’t

Braunwyn Windham-Burke is a relative newcomer on Real Housewives of Orange County — but she’s been making major waves with her confessions of enjoying threesomes with her husband and making out with co-star Tamra Judge in public. But in this week’s episode, Windham-Burke threw a “weaning party” to celebrate the end of breastfeeding with her seventh child — and we admit we’re a little skeptical. Do we really need another kind of parenting party?

Windham-Burke’s weaning celebration was full of slogans like “free the nipple” and “no more babies,” as well as shirtless men, strippers, drunken follies, and a huge cake shaped like breasts.

In other words, a bachelorette party, but for ta-tas finally off the clock.

“The whole reason I did this is I’ve been nursing for 20 years,” Windham-Burke says in the episode. “So instead of being sad, like, ‘Oh, I’m not having any more babies,’ I’m having a party for it.”

The aftershow interview was unexpectedly emotional. A tearful Windham-Burke said, “I’m not having any more children… I would have 30 kids if I could. All I ever wanted my entire life was to be a mom. And I never wanted anything else. I never wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer: I just wanted to be a mom, and I just wanted to be a really good one.”

She continued, “It was a fun party, and I felt bad about this, because you know what I realized at that party was what a big deal it was to me. I had this party to celebrate the end of [having children] but I wasn’t really celebrating, not really.”

Okaaaay, then, so maybe weaning parties are not such a hot idea? After all, we’ve seen numerous gender reveal parties go horribly wrong, like a recent one where a family unwittingly made a pipe bomb in their attempt to reveal their baby’s sex with a bang. The explosion wound up killing one family member, the grandmother-to-be.

Real Housewives fans weighed in on Twitter about the weaning party, and the general consensus was a thumbs-down:

We’re in agreement: Maybe we should just quit with the bizarre American phenomenon of trying to make every milestone of parenting into a party. After all, in some cultures, even baby showers are considered bad luck. And now there are also “hatchelorette” parties and “babymoons” — where does it end?

The fact is, you’re always going to be the most excited when it comes to your own baby, and maybe that joy should be enough without celebration after celebration — especially considering most friends and family circles have at least one or two souls desperate to conceive or suffering from recurring miscarriages. No doubt all these baby-related parties are a painful pill to swallow for those struggling with infertility.

But hey, to each her own. If you’re determined to have a weaning party, have at it. But we’ll pass, thanks.

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