So the latest in the “Dear Internet, Please Get a Life” chronicles of parenting comes after badass tiny human Chicago West got to learn about reptiles this week by super-calmly handling a corn snake — under adult supervision and with the guidance of a trained snake handler — while on vacation in the Bahamas with True and Khloé and the whole cool Kardasha-klan. NBD. Mom Kim Kardashian West shared the video of her 19-month-old today, captioned, “my brave girl Chicago,” plus snake emoji.
Did I mention this toddler is a total badass? I mean, my toddler shouts “ick ick ick” on repeat if he’s forced to walk barefoot through unwatered grass for crissakes. Chicago West, on the other hand, is the calm-eyed pint-sized literal snake charmer of our collective dreams.
Unless, of course, you’re a nothing-better-to-do-let’s-hate-on-some-internet-kids Instagram troll.
“This makes me feel sick,” somebody wrote in response to the video. Okay, sure, if snakes are a real phobia for you and the sight of them makes you, personally, feel ill, we’ll give you that one.
“I will [n]ever let my kid play with a snake,” commented another. Good for you! This is why we allow all parents to make their own parenting choices about their own children! Hooray. Then we get more firmly into Troll Territory:
“You don’t play with animals like that,” (oh don’t you, Karen?) “especially snakes who can easily lash out when provoked. I find it irresponsible of parents letting their young children hold animals like that and they have no idea what they are doing. Poor snake. Have a bit more respect.” Okay, so this angry-pants is somehow a) shaming Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West for being “irresponsible” in their child’s intro to animal biology education, b) feeling bad for the (seemingly super chill and totally fine) snake, and c) instructing someone here (Who?? Us? Mom and Dad? Chicago herself? The handler assistant? The snake?!) to have “more respect”! Wow. Shaming and widespread confusion, all at once.
But wait, there’s more: “Poor snake. Stop treating animals like toys! There’s plenty of other things to keep your kids occupied,” writes Karen #2 (I’m just assuming all these holier-than-thou mom-shamers are middle-aged white ladies so just taking an educated guess re: names here). Thing is, though, there’s nothing in this video that reads “toy” at all? Like, Chicago is neither turning this snake into a train track, tossing it through a basketball hoop, nor forcing it to report to the lookout alongside all her Paw Patrols. She’s holding it. Looking at it. Giving it a little cuddle, sure. Seems…I dunno, totally fine?
We’ve said it before, we’ll say it again: Internet, we’re tired of you. And by “we” I mean every parent who has ever posted a thing. We put these cute pics/vids of our kids out there because our kids are badasses and we love them and are proud of them, and if you don’t agree, kindly just look away, okay? Nobody needs your opinions on the safe and supervised cuddling of animals by toddlers. In fact, pretty sure cuddling between animals and toddlers is exactly what the world needs more of right now.
That said, there’s basically only one commenter we’re going to listen to here, and that’s Aunt Khloé, who wrote: “Look how she’s looking at his face. Omg… I love my brave girl.”
Brave, calm, patient, and interested in herpetology? My kid could take a pointer or two from Chicago, that’s for sure.