Our once and forever queen of comedy is now the queen of a very particular — and very relatable — genre of comedy: the grueling postpartum days. In fact, in the running for the award (yes, we made this award up in our heads) for “Amy Schumer’s best mom moment ever” are both her amazing and hilarious pregnancy pics as well as her postpartum photos so far.
Comedian and actor Amy Schumer gave birth on Sunday, May 5, to her first child, Gene, with husband Chris Fischer (after a crash visit to the Met Gala red carpet on the way to the hospital, no less).
And as usual, Schumer is pulling no punches when it comes to telling the real story. Her maternity posts were a freaking delight, so we suspected we were in for a major treat when the baby arrived. But nothing could have prepared us for the top-shelf, completely candid, deliciously relatable posts she’s given her fans about new motherhood. We are stanning so hard.
Here are our top postpartum Schumer moments so far.
Her clapback on how she’d “cope” with her son’s potential autism
When a commenter on this beautiful photo post said, “I’d like to see a documentary of you discovering your mate is diagnosed with autism and how you cope with the possibility that your child will be on the spectrum,” Schumer was having none of it.
She responded back in the best way: “How I cope? I don’t see being on the spectrum as a negative thing. My husband is my favorite person I’ve ever met. He’s kind, hilarious, interesting and talented and I admire him. Am I supposed to hope my son isn’t like that? I will pay attention and try to provide him with the tools he needs to overcome whatever challenges come up like all parents. I’d be disappointed if he liked The Big Bang Theory and NASCAR, not if he has ASD.”
The way she is embracing her post-baby body
Schumer is proud of her “warm soft” and “strong” new form, as she noted in one of her comments on this post.
Her postpartum stroll… in mesh panties
Because hospital underwear are versatile, comfortable, breathable and perfect for a warm walk.
Her newborn-shit-is-bananas glamour shot
I mean, has every new mom been there or… has every new mom been right there?
Her party-pumps #OOTD pic
Schumer captioned this one “Guys what are we doing tonight?” and make no mistake: There’s no one we’d rather pump-club it up with. Pretty sure Vanderpump Rules‘ Stassi Schroeder, whom Schumer tagged in the post, agrees.
Her “royal baby” birth photo
The “royal baby” jest, of course, is poking fun at the fact that she and Meghan Markle — the Duchess of Sussex — shared almost the exact same pregnancy timeline.
Her MILF-alert shot
Schumer also posted a “MILF alert” on Instagram, an awesomely real hospital shot of a very disheveled her — on a toilet, hooked up to an IV in the background — while an adoring squad member cradles baby Gene.
Her women warriors post
But she’s not just being funny. Schumer wrote a fierce and heartfelt post about her takeaway from the birth experience: that women are “warriors.” Her words were powerful and honest to the core:
“Ok here’s my post baby annoying post and my takeaway from pregnancy. Women are the shit. Men are cool and whatever but women are fucking warriors and capable of anything.”
She also praised her doula and acknowledged her privilege in having one:
“I was lucky enough to get to have a doula. Her name @domino_kirke@carriagehousebirth. What do doulas do? I don’t totally know. But what she did was make me and Chris feel totally secure and supported throughout my pregnancy and the birth process. I really recommend getting one if you can.”
And Schumer was not one to forget her medical team and the “strong women” who helped her through her hyperemesis gravidarum (severe morning sickness, the same condition that plagued Kate Middleton throughout all three of her pregnancies). She also gave a shoutout to Every Mother Counts as a place to donate toward midwives’ supplies for moms and babies in Guatemala:
“Doctor Brill and all the nurses and pediatricians at Lenox Hill and all the other hospitals i spent time in this year, thank you for everything. I did Pilates with strong women and went for walks. I threw up violently and felt sick mostly every day of my pregnancy. Hyperemesis is real and it’s awful. But fuck, what they say is true. The second you give birth it’s gone. @hgmoms@thelordjones@everymomcounts
She signed off in classic Schumer style: “#titsleaking#wearingadiaper.” And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
A version of this story was originally published in May 2019.
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Ok here’s my post baby annoying post and my takeaway from pregnancy. Women are the shit. Men are cool and whatever but women are fucking warriors and capable of anything. I was lucky enough to get to have a doula. Her name @domino_kirke @carriagehousebirth what do doulas do? I don’t totally know But what she did was make me and Chris feel totally secure and supported throughout my pregnancy and the birth process. I really recommend getting one if you can. Doctor Brill and all the nurses and pediatricians at Lenox Hill and all the other hospitals i spent time in this year, thank you for everything. I did Pilates with strong women and went for walks. I threw up violently and felt sick mostly every day of my pregnancy. Hyperemesis is real and it’s awful. But fuck, what they say is true. The second you give birth it’s gone. @hgmoms has the best research I found on the condition The only thing that helped me with my nausea was products from @thelordjones I learned that globally 1 in 5 births take place without the assistance of a skilled birth attendant. @everymomcounts is a great place to donate $250 equips a midwife with a bag of medical equipment needed to provide care to hundreds of women and babies in Guatemala. All my friends. Friends I’ve had for 30 years or people who encouraged me to “keep going” or telling me “it will be worth it”. Thank you. Every woman I encountered is so willing to help and advise you and I felt all their strength. And you were right. Thank you ladies from my family. Chris, Gene and of course Tatiana #titsleaking #wearingadiaper