This Dad’s ‘Meal Request’ on Nextdoor Is Delightfully Tone-Deaf

So there’s this overly demanding dad whose Nextdoor meal request is taking the internet by storm, and causing quite the fuss. Allow us to preface this story with two disclaimers:

Related story What I Learned From My First Postpartum Experience Made My Second So Much Better

1. Having a baby is hard.
2. Asking for help is good.

We’re all for new parents waving the white flag and calling out for some reinforcements. Just…maybe…you know…don’t go about it like this. Maybe?

Philly resident Jack Jokinen was browsing social media app Nextdoor — a platform designed to make connecting with your neighbors easier in this digital age — when he happened to stumble upon a post from some nearby expectant parents. These parents-to-be had posted a cry for meal help when the baby arrived, and truly, it must be read to be believed. Even then, one might not believe what one is reading.

Jokinen tweeted, “…today someone posted [on Nextdoor] the most ridiculous thing ever”:

Turns out they are in fact asking total strangers to help them and with the most millennial phrasing I have ever seen in my life. (3/?) pic.twitter.com/ex0o9LBKVo

— JJ (@JJFromTheBronx) April 18, 2019

Jokinen was not, well, joking about the “millennial phrasing.”

Jokinsen’s neighbor, the young father-to-be, had written on Nextdoor, “I’m teetering on a fence of emotions. On one side is joy and excitement, of course. But on the other side is a great deal of fear! One of the things I’m most afraid of is not getting a great deal of sleep and as a result not being in the best frame of mind to offer my wife the support she needs to recover from the child-birthing process.”

The dad-to-be continued, “That’s why I’m putting together this ‘Meal-train’ or ‘Mental-health check-in Train’ or ‘Do you need any help today train.’ A meal would be awesome. If you feel comfortable reaching out before you arrive to see if we might need anything else — that’d be even more awesome.”

Now, we fully get the wonderfulness of having meals just magically appear in those foggy postpartum days. We do, we do, we do. And we think such meal deliveries are lovely. It’s just when a “request” starts to stink a bit of “entitlement” that we, like Jokinen, get a little prickly.

Jokinen screenshotted and tweeted the entire list of “awesome” demands, er, sorry… requests. The expectant parents’ wish list contained actual pre-selected recipes from sites like Epicurious and Smittenkitchen, as well as numerous dietary preferences. No processed foods or sugar, please, only whole grains. Plus Papa Bear doesn’t like mashed potatoes, okay?

Social preferences were listed as well: Please leave the food in a cooler in the yard so we don’t have to see you because baby yawn so tired. Unless you want to come by to vacuum, wash the dishes, or walk the dog. No, really. Then you’re allowed in the house. If you set up a certain day of the week to text with them in advance.

Trying not to be negative, I figured maybe it's like "if you make a lasagna and make too much, we would accept it". That would be very reasonable inside a totally unreasonable ask. BUT THERE WERE 30+ SPECIFIC MEALS WITH RECIPES pic.twitter.com/BkE2kBuhyJ

— JJ (@JJFromTheBronx) April 18, 2019

Jokinen was merciless. I hope this couple doesn’t live actually next door, because he will have no pity for them or for their screaming wee bairn, it is clear.

This guy then tops it all off be telling us we can sign up for a day to text, and if they decide they would rather not see people, WE CAN COOK THEM A MEAL AND LEAVE IT FOR THEM IN A COOLER HIS WILL PROVIDE IN THE YARD BECAUSE HE COULDN'T BE BOTHERED ANSWERING THE DOOR pic.twitter.com/FXtNRgVa8Z

— JJ (@JJFromTheBronx) April 18, 2019

Twitter was predictably hilarious when it got wind of Jokinen’s thread about his neighbors using their words so eloquently.

"We like simple foods, like roasted sweet potato wraps with caramelized onions and pesto and lamb meatball stew with orzo"

— Angus T. Kirk (@angusparvo) April 19, 2019

Yes, it takes a village to raise a child, we get that. And some folks on Twitter indeed thought the couple was more “scared” than “entitled”:

Judgy ppl like you & all the other ppl replying to this post are why ppl don't ask for help until they are desperate & possibly in danger. These ppl sound like they don't have any family around & are scared, but "entitled millennial" is a more convienient narrative, I guess.

— i had a spoon once (@anxiousbeetle) April 19, 2019

Others argued that their approach simply took things a bit too far:

Helping out a neighbor with a new baby is pretty standard as are meal trains and the whole cooler on the front porch. I’m okay with also alerting helpful neighbors of allergies and if you’re vegan, etc…they lose me at the whole recipe bit tho-that’s just too much.

— Stephanie Mitz (@StephanieMitz) April 19, 2019

Our take, again: Asking for help? Always a good thing. And babies? Always damn hard. But when your “request” starts to look like Mariah Carey’s backstage dressing room must-have list or a menu swiped from a Michelin restaurant, or a to-do list for Kim Kardashian’s hired help… it may be time to rein it in.

Dear Philadelphia Nextdoor parents, you’re not the first humans on the planet to have a baby, and you won’t be the last. Just play by the rules. Live simply. Know your place in the world, not just your carbon footprint. Ask accordingly when it comes to help. Most of all? Let your request for help put the emphasis on gratitude — not on hatred of refined sugars.