Mother really knows best, especially if your mom is Goldie Hawn. Apparently, Hawn was instrumental in teaching Kate Hudson how to co-parent her three children with three different fathers.
Hudson — who shares kids Ryder Robinson, Bingham Hawn Bellamy, and Rani Rose Hudson Fujikawa with ex-husband Christopher Robinson, ex-fiancé Matt Bellamy, and boyfriend Danny Fujikawa, respectively — opened up about her modern, blended family, and the best advice she’d received from her mother, on the podcast Divorce Sucks! with Laura Wasser.
“I think the one thing that I learned from my mom is that no matter what you’re feeling… when I see my friends talking shit about their ex-spouses in front of their kids, I get so upset because they don’t recognize how much that affects their child and how resentful their child will become of them,” Hudson said. “No matter what, I never heard a bad word about my father.”
The actress and Fabletics co-founder emphasized that kids will pick up on and internalize their parents’ tones and comments.
“Kids are not only incredibly intelligent but eventually they can make up their mind themselves,” Hudson said. “They will see with their own eyes whatever needs to be seen, and they need to come to that on their own terms. It’s not our place to tell them how to feel about other parents.”
That lesson may seem like co-parenting 101, but it’s so important to remember. Because co-parenting with an ex can be extremely difficult for many people, and sometimes, you need to vent. In these instances, it’s best to call a friend (out of earshot from the kids) or see a counselor rather than expose children to any toxic words/vibes towards their other parent. And, if you feel like you need some additional help communicating with an ex, there are some fantastic co-parenting apps out there that can prove invaluable.
Establishing a consistent line of communication, whether it’s through an app or in-person meetings, is essential for setting boundaries with a co-parent — as well as shared goals and expectations. For Hudson, it’s vital that her kids know “mommy and daddy are on the same page” when it comes to household rules. “We find that to be really important for [them] to feel that… you’re [not] going to get away with anything in each other’s houses,” she said.
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While it’s of course not possible for everyone, Hudson also said that being financially independent of her exes has improved her overall relationships with them in the long run.
“I think it’s important for a woman — obviously, for me, personally, I am self-sufficient,” Hudson added. “I do not rely on my partners for any financial stability. I think that allowed me a little bit of freedom… to be a little bit easier for me to walk away from certain relationships and maintain a good relationship with my partners.”
Of course, there is zero shame in asking a co-parent or co-parents to contribute financially to child support, regardless of how much money you make.
Ultimately, Hudson stressed that the best thing divorced parents can do is make their children’s’ happiness a top priority — and we couldn’t agree more.