Celebrity Parents Who Are Winning at the Elf on the Shelf Gig

Disclaimer: This author is a Grinch in human guise. I would rather clip Italian greyhound toenails and do laundry full of stinking soccer uniforms 24-7 than come up with charming, imaginative tableaux every day for Christmas’ latest consumer “must”: the holiday’s now-omnipresent Elf on the Shelf.

Before you stab me in the eye with jabby little ornament hangers, hear me out: There were no Elves on Shelves or anywhere else when I was growing up. And we were all fine. Santa didn’t need a complicated espionage ring of creepy stalker elves to know when I was sleeping or awake, people. (Oh, hush. You say, “Scout Elf”; I say, “Stalker Elf.” Semantics.) Anyway, back in my day, Santa did his own damn scouting/stalking from the North Pole using his magical crystal snow globe or whatever. That’s all the stalking I need from the holiday that brought us “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”

But hey, creepy or nay, millions of people have embraced the Elf on the Shelf phenomenon — including tons of celebrity parents. So without further ado, we present to you celebrities who are completely slaying (or formerly slayed when their kids were younger) the Elf on the Shelf routine.

Busy Philipps’ elves made slime

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Obviously the elves made slime.🙄 #elfontheshelf

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They also made a rope ladder — Busy is clearly not busy enough

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They made a rope ladder.🤷‍♀️ #elfontheshelf

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Sarah Michelle Gellar’s elves once TP’ed her tree

Kourtney Kardashian’s elves were pool hustlers

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🎱

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In a Christmas miracle, Victoria Beckham’s elf became a real girl & modeled her clothing line

OK, fine, I just threw that in to see if you were paying attention.

Tori Spelling’s elves were into potty humor

Alyssa Milano’s elves auditioned for an action movie

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Mission accomplished. #elfontheshelf 🎄🚁

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Kim Kardashian West’s elf met a cruel fate

But my favorite might just be Kim Kardashian West’s poor elf, whose magic was tragically destroyed by a single poke from Saint West, age 3. His older sister, North, 5, made a quaint gravesite for the fallen spy, er, scout.

North West is my kind of girl. That’s all I’m going to say.

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