It’s a tale as old as social media: A celebrity shares a picture featuring their child. Public backlash ensues as dozens of “concerned” parents flock to the comment section to explain said celebrity’s wrongdoings. Celebrity spouse joins the discussion and eviscerates the main troll. We’ve seen it with Khloé Kardashian, Chrissy Teigen and Serena Williams. But perhaps no celeb is as skilled at the art of the clapback as Pink, whose public roastings are just as delicious as her sweetest Instagram parenting moments — and her latest spat with a troll who attacked husband Carey Hart’s parenting skills is her best yet.
The drama started earlier this week when Hart, a professional dirt bike rider and children’s haircut enthusiast, posted a photo of himself posing on a dirt bike with his son, 1-year-old Jameson, on Instagram. People lost their shit, writing that Hart was “dangerous and reckless” and that they couldn’t believe anyone, let alone a professional, would endanger their kid as he had.
Here are the facts: We have no idea if he actually rode the bike with Jameson in tow, and if he did, we have no idea what speed he traveled. From this simple analysis, we can conclude another fact: It’s none of our damn business what Hart does with his son in his spare time, and unless we have physical proof (like a video of him riding 120 mph off a cliff), we have zero grounds to police his parenting.
Moving on. Pink caught wind of the drama and posted a picture of a very safe, happy Jameson devouring chocolate. “Chocolate is good for babies right? Help me Instagram, we can’t possibly parent without you,” she wrote.
Like clockwork, one “worried” commenter insisted on making her own voice heard.
“Sarcasm I love as I am too but with your husband being in the spotlight so often with his complete lack of regard for proper care or concern at times with your kids, this comment isn’t funny, albeit Jameson is adorable,” the troll, @sporty_mom5 wrote. “I love your music, your kids are beautiful but your husband, I’m sorry, lacks the responsibility your kids need in his care.”
None of this sat well with Pink, who fired back a long and perfectly salty response.
“You sound well informed on the performance of my husband as a father,” the singer wrote. “Answer me this: how often have you spent time with my husband? How often have you watched him parent? Do you know my children? Are you aware of their development? Even better: what are your credentials in Parenting expertise? Are you a perfect parent? Shit, are you even a parent? A psychologist? A teacher?”
Pink went on to inform the “social media spectator” that perhaps she was the one who could use some advice, which essentially boiled down to “back the hell off.”
“God bless your perfect path. I have no interest in that myself,” she concluded the post. “However, do check in from time to time to let us all know what other teachings you may have for us, oh perfect fucking stranger.”
And that, dear parents and readers, is how it’s done.