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How to determine the future vocation of your children

Have you ever wondered what your children will grow up to be? Following is a list of possible vocations based on the behavior of children.
Child screams at top of lungs to get other children to play his way. Occupational aptitude: Drill sergeant or parent. Take your pick.

Child scales all furniture stepping on anything to get to the top. Occupational aptitude: Fireman, mountain climber or CEO.

Child constantly finds your stash of chocolate. Occupational aptitude: Detective or personal fitness trainer.

Child avoids telling the truth by asking questions and going off on tangents. Occupational aptitude: President of the United States or any politician.

Child eats more cookies and snacks than anyone else taking more than his fair share. Occupational aptitude: The federal government.

Child stuffs veggies up his nose but he insists he ate them. Occupational aptitude: I don’t know, but I hope there is some sort of future for the child of mine that does this.

Child gets caught sneaking candy out of the house and then tells you he was planning to give it to all the children in the neighborhood that didn’t have any. Occupational aptitude: Spin-doctor.

Child gets younger siblings to do what she wants by speaking with a low growl through clenched teeth. Occupational aptitude: Mother in a shopping mall with misbehaving children.

Child gives his/her all at school, then comes home and leaves a trail of shoes, coat, backpack, books and socks from the front door to the bedroom. Occupational aptitude: Husband, bachelor or working mom.

Child constantly talks over others speaking for them and telling others what they really mean. Occupational aptitude: News commentator, talk show host or mother-in-law.

Child constantly whines. Occupational aptitude: An actor that plays a disgruntled caveman in television ad for an insurance company.

Children today have more opportunities to become anything they want to be more than at any other time in history. As parents we need to nurture their latent talents. A friend of mine’s son colored all over her newly painted wall. He was promptly punished…and grew up to be an electrical engineer. He might have been the next Picasso.

At least this is what I tell myself when I see the writing on the wall…in all 64 wonderful Crayola colors. I try to see the artist, engineer, doctor, lawyer, librarian, mother, father or chef in each child.

Who knows what the next generation will become? I’d ponder that but the sound of breaking glass alerts me to the fact that young Sir Isaac Newton just discovered gravity while Ms. Pavlov conditions our poor Chihuahua with the cookies I was saving for snack time.

And I wonder…did Einstein’s mother ever ground him?

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