Since the advent of the internet, “mommy wars” have been raging. (OK, truth be told, Judgy McJudgersons have been around for way longer, but anonymity — and social media — has given them rise and a voice.) But the Christian mom behind the blog, website and book, The Transformed Wife, just took parental judgment to a whole other level. She posted a chart called “Should Mothers Have Careers?” on her Facebook page, and, um, let’s just say it’s a doozy.
Seriously, y’all, take a look.
Of course, it’s unclear who made the chart, though many assume it was the Transformed Wife herself, Lori Alexander. But who made it really doesn’t matter because there’s a lot to unpack here. (Like, a lot.) Let’s start at the beginning with the question, “Should mothers have careers?” Because the answer is pretty obvious: Each mother should do whatever the hell works best for her and her family, period. And guess what: That is the choice of her and her family, period.
The decision to work or stay at home is a tough one — and very personal. For some, finances make the choice a no-brainer, as it’s simply not feasible to subtract a potential income from the household. For others, the decision is more complex and requires a deep value analysis of whether the mom in question wants or chooses to juggle wearing the hats of career and home. And for others, the decision to stay home is based solely on the skyrocketing costs of childcare. But none of these choices is more valid than the others.
Bottom line: Working and staying at home are both hard but rewarding jobs. Each comes with its own benefits. Stay-at-home moms get more face time with their kids — to play, learn, make memories and model the behaviors of a compassionate individual, family member and citizen. But working moms are able to show their kids that women can and do have amazing careers outside the house — and the value of pursuing their dreams. Both these choices set a wonderful example for kids.
As for the insanity above, I’m pretty sure that while working moms may come home exhausted, they also come home rejuvenated — full of joy and excitement to see their kids. I’m pretty sure stay-at-home moms don’t all “rest” while their child naps. They use that time to complete essential tasks, like cleaning, cooking, making phone calls and/or paying bills. Also? I’m pretty certain neither of these choices — to work or to stay at home — is a guarantee of a healthy sex life. Sorry, folks.
Oh, and the point at the end that working moms’ lives are falling apart? Yeah, well, all moms’ lives are falling apart. Because women do too damn much.
So don’t make your career decisions based on this asinine flow chart. Instead, do what’s best for you and your family. The end.